This is so sad, I feel that it is all my fault!! - Paw Talk

Perfect · #1 09-10-2006, 01:50 PM

My little cousin is thirteen years old and I decided to spend some time with her and take her to the pet store just to browse. I had to buy some things for the kiddos (my doggies

) as well. Well, my little cousin begged me for a hamster, I gave her a thirty minute lecture on how they need to be properly cared for and you can not just walk in a pet store and say, "Oh, I want one of those." and take them in like they are no big deal. I told her how much responsibility they took and how it was not easy owning one. She told me that she understood and that she promised to take care of him. Well, I bought him for her (thinking that she would be a responsible young adult) and thought that he was being well taken care of. Well, she had been talking to me on the phone telling me how great he was doing, and I was very proud of her and the great job that she had been doing. Well, I called her mom to tell her how proud I was and she told me that the poor thing starved to death! I feel HORRIBLE! She said that she never once cleaned the cage, did not ever feed him, and he had no water.

It is all my fault and I can not believe this. I feel terrible. I thought that she could be a responsible young adult and take care of him. This is all my fault...I feel horrible.

Sorry...I just had to vent/rant. I can not believe this...how horrible am I?

DorkyChantelle · #2 09-10-2006, 01:56 PM

That's really sad but don't blame yourself. Thirteen is PLENTY old enough to take proper care of an animal, in my opinion. Unless she had some sort of past in neglecting animals, there was no way you could have known that this would have happened. You did well by explaining the responsibilities of owning a pet to her beforehand and like I said, you would pretty much expect a 13 year old to be able to provide at least adequate care. Obviously she's just not ready to own a pet but I don't think it's your fault at all. I'm sorry to hear about the hamster

Have you talked to her about it since you found out what happened?

Perfect · #3 09-10-2006, 01:59 PM

No, I just recently got off of the phone with her mom.

luvnature · #4 09-10-2006, 02:02 PM

its not your fault in any way!! Too bad that this happened

but you cant blame yourself!

You did everything possible to help her and make her see what having a pet would entail.

The responsability was on her and she said she would take care of it. You had no control on how she did that. She was old enough to understand.

You did nothing wrong Taban so please dont blame yourself in any way!

Angelnstuff · #5 09-10-2006, 02:16 PM

a 13 year old should be more than old enough to understand how to take care of a hamster. heck i think 13 is old enough to legally babysit a infant in most states, this is in no way your fault. please dont blame yourself. i think if anyone is to blame its her, and possible her mother, she should have noticed that the girl wasnt taking proper care of him.. the poor baby, its in no way your fault tho, you have no reason to blame yourself.

Vanilla_Rat · #6 09-10-2006, 06:23 PM

I agree.Don't blame yourself.As the others mentioned,a 13 year old SHOULD know better and should know that animals need care.She obviously isn't responsible enough or ready and should not own any other animals,unless she wants/will provide the needs/care.You were responsible in telling about hamsters and you never knew she would neglect the poor thing.

pinkie1205 · #7 09-10-2006, 06:40 PM

I just think the mother should have stepped in and looked to see if the hamster was taken care of. That in itself pisses me off. In no way do I think it's your fault.

luvnature · #8 09-10-2006, 07:10 PM

thats a good point..you would think the mother would have checked in on the poor thing once in a while or asked about it at least to see if it was being taken care of!!!

I hope your feeling a little bit better now and realize its not your fault in any way.

Formula86 · #9 09-10-2006, 07:57 PM

This isn't your fault!! You gave her a good talk about it first (which most don't do) and you thought everything was OK.

I agree that the mother is partly to blame. How can you not check-in on your kid's pet? It would have taken a while for this to happen, no?

I'm sorry about what happened, but it isn't your fault.

Hugs!!!

Vanilla_Rat · #10 09-10-2006, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkie1205


	I just think the mother should have stepped in and looked to see if the hamster was taken care of. That in itself pisses me off. In no way do I think it's your fault.

Yeah,I agree!The mother should of checked in on the hammie as well.

Perfect · #11 09-10-2006, 09:30 PM

Thank you guys so much. I feel responsible for it...you know I mean? But you guys helped me so much and thank you. I see what you mean though, her mom should have checked in with her pets to make sure he was doing all right and such. Thank you all so much, it just saddens me that this had to happen.

-Taban

andreaS15 · #12 09-11-2006, 01:52 AM

I'm not trying to be negative, And I do agree a 13 year old should be able to take care of a small animal, but I don't think we should be blaming Mom here, only b/c Mom didn't buy the hamster. No offence but if someone bought my child (of any age) a pet I'd be a bit ticked off. Only b/c in MY personal opinion it is MY house this animal is living in and I may or may not be ready to take on that responcibility.
I really think it's the decision of the parent whether or not a new animal is to be brought into the home, as respocible as the child is, it's still the parents homes & rules, and 90% of the time the parents money to pay for food/litter/supplies and vet care when needed.

Angelnstuff · #13 09-11-2006, 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andreaS15


	I'm not trying to be negative, And I do agree a 13 year old should be able to take care of a small animal, but I don't think we should be blaming Mom here, only b/c Mom didn't buy the hamster

I agree, and i dont think the mom is to blame, but i jus think a mother would notice if the cage wasnt being cleaned (most parents would complain ALOT about the smell of an uncleaned hamster cage) and if the cage isnt being cleaned properly it prolly wasnt being fed or watered properly either. again im not saying the mom is to blame, im jus saying i would think she would notice.

and i know if it was my mom... if someone bought us a pet that she didnt agree to, any problems with the pet would be reported to whoever bought us the pet. i mean, when we were little our aunt gave us a kitten, and if the cat box ever went too long without being cleaned my mom would tell my aunt. and she would come over and talk to us about the things we need to do to have a pet and such, and tell us if we didnt take care of it she would have to find someone that would.
heh im rambling, you get the idea tho

christine · #14 09-11-2006, 08:12 AM

Quote:


	I just think the mother should have stepped in and looked to see if the hamster was taken care of.

That pisses me off too. The daughter was telling you how great the hamster was doing and you had no way of knowing that it was in dire need of attention. She should have been taking care of the animals better because she is PLENTY old enough to take care of them and you did everything in your power to make sure she understood how important taking care of one was. It is NOT your fault it is the 13 year olds fault, and I also blame the mother for not stepping in and taking care of it, or at least returning it to the pet store for a more responsible child to take care of it.

luvnature · #15 09-11-2006, 09:59 AM

I dont think anyone is blaming just the mom fully. She does bear part of the blame although most of it goes on the 13 year old. If the mother didnt approve of the hammy coming into her home she could have said something to Taban and im sure she would have taken it back gladly. But mom did allow the girl to keep it so she should have seen to it that it was being taken care of properly.
The 13 yr old did lie to Taban and tell her that it was doing well and may have lied to her own mother about its condition as well so as not to get in trouble...but still...any parent would and should check for themselves once in a while to see for themselves how it was doing. Especially since mom said that the girl never cleaned the cage..wouldnt it smell terribly and have to say something to her daughter? Sounds like the daughter doesnt have much of a mother, sounds like she neglects her daughter a bit so maybe the girl has learned to neglect her pets as well. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree, they say. Its just sad all the way around.

But it is not Tabans fault in ANY way at all.