Hugs? - Paw Talk

corgimom · #1 09-21-2006, 04:18 PM

Foster mom is driving me CRAZY. She is calling us nonstop to "check on Tippy" and to harrass us about signing a contract (she changed her mind). Animal control asked that we sign a foster agreement for a week, then go back and formally adopt Tippy if she is fitting in well and is happy. When I was there, they said that she is constantly calling and visiting them saying she wants Tippy back. I called them after the 3rd phone call today and asked them if they think it's a good idea for us to sign this contract. They said that they are going to talk to her, and they want to see the contract. They said we need to sign THEIR contract, not hers. Especially since her contract says she can take Tippy back any time she wants if she feels Tippy is unhappy. If she wants Tippy back, how objective is she when determining Tippy's happiness?

Animal control said that they are hoping that she will calm down after she gets used to Tippy being gone, but that if she doesn't, they may have to give Tippy back to her (since she was the foster) and let us know when they have another collie.

I am so worried that we are going to lose her. I think I need a hug.

LuvMeTrue · #2 09-21-2006, 05:13 PM

awwwwwwwwwwww hunnie that has got to be hard on you I am sorry she is being such a witch and ruining your happiness like this.

I really hope it all works out for you.

Puttin510 · #3 09-21-2006, 05:37 PM

I think that is unfair. A foster should look for a suitable home, and let them take care of the dog. Foster is not needed anymore. I like that there is a cut from the tie of foster to new owners. Occasional pictures and how she's doing. And always if there is a reason anytime in the future if she can't be kept return her. But god, her rule of I can be god and just come by and take her if she appears unhappy. Are you sure thats not if the foster is not happy. Talk to her, tell her this dog will be loved and cared for, and its not fair for the dog or to you guys to come yank her if she wants to. People do not want to be tied to the foster mom, they just do not. Next thing ya know, she will be getting annoyed if you feed her something else. Sigh, boy I feel for you.

Vanilla_Rat · #4 09-21-2006, 05:43 PM

Oh no...you do not need this added stress.Why is she behaving that way? She should be hapy that someone (YOU) adopted Tippy and are willing to provide her with everything she needs and lots of love.The foster should be happy and if she really is sad,then take in another foster animal.From experiance,I know it is hard to foster dogs,because you provide temporary love and then when someone adopts the animal it is hard.She should of realized that when she fosters,that is what happens...someone will want to adopt the dog eventually.If she loved Tippy so much,why didn't she adopt her herself?

I hope you can get things sorted out.Many hugs for you.

Leo · #5 09-21-2006, 05:51 PM

((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))
I guess I don't get why this lady wants her back? She left her out in the rain.... she was outside in a pen all day and night.... why have a dog if it is just going to be in your backyard and not in the house with you? I would tell the shelter of the conditions the lady was keeping her in.
Hope everything turns around and the lady gets a little sanity back.

Nara · #6 09-21-2006, 06:48 PM

This lady is nuts!

corgimom · #7 09-21-2006, 09:50 PM

She said that she would adopt Tippy (now known as Colleen) if she didn't already have her border collie, but she couldn't have two big dogs in the house. Plus, her boyfriend is not an animal lover, and wasn't thrilled with the thought of a second dog (I never met him, so I think they don't live together).

I understand that in 3 months she got attached, especially since Colleen was near death when she found her, but it was her choice ot hand her to foster her for animal control instead of keep her. She did not have the money to treat Colleen's mange, and didn't think she wanted another dog, so she was fine with just being a foster.

What worries me most is that she said twice Colleen got loose and ran into the street, in front of cars. If she did not have $300 to pay to treat mange, how could she afford to pay for surgery to save her life, if she gets hit next time?

I just wrote her a 4 page letter telling her how happy Colleen is (calling her Colleen every time) and how well she is adjusting. I also mentioned that we are going to petsmart this week to buy brushes and to ask about grooming prices. I didn't want to let her know that I knew she wanted Colleen back, so I decided the best way to try and deter her is to make her feel guilty about wanting Colleen back when she is so happy and by mentioning how much work (and how much money) grooming will cost. Grooming doesn't matter to me at all, I don't mind. But she doesn't seem the type to want to do it, and I don't think she can afford to pay for it, so maybe it will work.

Yes, I know I am being mean by bragging about how happy Colleen is. But she had her chance to keep her, and didn't want her. I don't want to lose her, and I am trying any polite way I can think of to make it clear that I love her and don't want to give her up.

Puttin510 · #8 09-21-2006, 10:07 PM

Keep buttering her up. Don't give her any reason to want to take her back. If she keeps bugging you about her application, tell her it is not the way that other rescues do things. Ask her to be fair. Once a dog is adopted it is your dog. I know you are walking on egg shells right now. Taper off with talking with her to just once in awhile. Email perhaps, and update pictures.

Formula86 · #9 09-21-2006, 10:21 PM

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

What makes me mad is that the shelter said that if she keeps bugging you, they would just give her back to the foster! Why? Don't they see that she's crazy??

I am SO sorry.

Keep focused and I hope it all works out ok.

**Scarlette** · #10 09-22-2006, 12:04 PM

Does the shelter know she kept the dog outside all of the time? Does the shelter know that the dog is inside at your house? That seems like big bonus points for you right there. She said before that she couldn't adopt her, so why is she suddenly changing her mind?

Puttin510 · #11 09-22-2006, 12:27 PM

Yeah plus her boyfriend does not want another around. With rescues, they want everybody in the family to want the dog. Right now boyfriend is sort of family. It sounds like if it were the dog or the boyfriend. Boyfriend would win.

Angelnstuff · #12 09-22-2006, 01:56 PM

I feel sorry for Colleen, im so glad you have her now, dogs like that are not ment to be kept outside, i couldnt imagin her kept outside after her coat grows in fully. and in the rain at that! poor baby. i hope they dont give her back. it sounds insane that they would even think of giving her back to the foster because shes acting that way. i would go out of my way to make sure they know she was keeping her outside, and that you were told she had gotten into the street, also, didnt you say her dog didnt get along with her?
i really hope you get to keep her, it would be crazy for them to give her back.
Also make sure you watch her outside. this whole thing made me think of Angel, the doberman we had when i was little, the guy down the block from us kept asking my mom if she would sell her, when she told him there was no possible way she would sell her cuz it was pretty much my dog (i was 5 or 6 at the time) the guy kept trying to take her out of the yard and even worse the cops said they couldnt do anything unless he actually took the dog from the yard.. and even then theres no telling if they would actually be able to get her back unless we had it on film or something.

pitbullforever · #13 09-22-2006, 03:04 PM

oh no thats awful i'm so sorry they are doing this to you it doesnt seem right to me at all that the foster is going to be able to take her back i would write a letter to the shelter itself and see that the manager gets it i would include that outside life for a collie is no life at all. (((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))) and vibes

Formula86 · #14 09-22-2006, 03:45 PM

Any updates?

millie121 · #15 09-22-2006, 07:49 PM

I hope this all works out for you. I think this woman's behavior is beyond odd, and I can't believe that animal control would say they may just end up giving Colleen back to her. I would definitely make sure they know about the conditions under which she was keeping the dog. Personally, I would not sign any contract directly with the foster...she's obviously not thinking altogether logically, and I think it's almost a given she'll use that contract to try to pull Colleen out of your home. Start keeping records of when she calls you and the content of the calls. Not to sound overly dramatic, but if you think this thing will escalate to actual harrassment, if it isn't already, I imagine that you'll want to be able to provide proof of how weird this woman is. There is a big difference between a foster following up on an animal that was in her care and what this person is doing. Good Luck, I know how much you wanted her and how excited you were to get her. I hope she gets to stay and just be a happy member of the family.