A Day in the Life of a CatPerson - Paw Talk - Pet Forums
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A Day in the Life of a CatPerson

Posted 05-16-2010 at 07:03 AM by

I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is BarkingPup and I currently have two cats; Moon Sugar and Skooma.

For people who do not know; the names come from drugs in the game Morrowind (Oblivion doesn't have Moon Sugar) and Skooma is the refined and more potent aftermath of Moon Sugar. In Morrowind the Khajit (a cat-people) are addicted to Moon Sugar and always ask for it when you talk to them. I recently discovered, via Urban Dictionary, that drugs on our streets have adopted the names as well. Apparently I have named a cat after cocaine... who knew.

Skooma came to me from a friends parents. Well meaning people they saw the overload of barn cats and ferals in their backyard and began feeding them scraps. Being poor they couldn't afford the cost of spaying and neutering or, really, anything else but they could ensure the continued happiness of the kittens. They take the kittens into their house once they are seen toddling about. There they are shown to their six house cats and three dogs, petted, coddled, etc. Skooma was the only kitty to come willingly into my arms. I feared I would have to choose, but fate gave me a break.

Unfortunately, Skooma had an upper respiratory infection, severe worms (bloody diarrhea severe) and was severely undernourished. Today she is a healthy five pound eleven month old fluffy who will probably never grow any larger but I love her delicate bones and floofy fur anyways.

Sugar was a pet store kitty. At this particular pet store they are given pets no one else wants and house them in their store/vet/groomers. When you 'buy' the animal you are only paying for it's vaccinations and spay/neuter. If these things haven't been done yet you simply make appointments and bring it back when it's time. Other than abandoned animals they do not sell live animals.

Sugar was a quiet kitty hiding in the corner. Apparently her and her litter mates had been brought in at six weeks old, half feral. Everyone else was gone but at six months, Sugar was still there. I fell in love with her affectionate but shy headbutting and took her home a couple days later. Unfortunately, she still shows signs of the pet store such as fear and not wanting to be picked up so bad she shredded my arms and shoulders.

A typical cat day for me goes something like this:

Alarm rings.
Cats start bugging and walking all over face.
Get up, dislodge a cat.
Dislodge a cat again.
Discourage cat from cuddling up to side.
Move cat from lap.
Give up and pet for ten minutes.
Finally, hunger wins and cats leave.
Set up the coffee maker.
Pick cat hairs from water.
Spit cat hairs from mouth because Sugar has no concept of personal space.
Fill up bowl with hot water.
Place ziploc meat bags inside.
Sit at table and read.
Ignore tail on page.
Ignore cat on lap.
Ignore cat chewing on book.
Ignore cat screaming for food in ear.
Ignore- wait, coffee's done.
Get coffee. Sit at table.
Ignore claws on leg.
Ignore Skooma's howling to go outside.
Ignore Sugar's tail in coffee.
Ignore butt in face.
Ignore butt on page.
Look up at clock.
Get up. Trip on cat.
Get meat bags. Trip on cat.
Put down food plates.
Dump out meat. Trip on cat.
Get own food from fridge and reheat in microwave.
Relish blissful silence.

Ignore Skooma's yowling for outside.
Ignore Sugar's black hole stomach as she finishes off Skooma's food.
Ignore- oh, wait, Sugar's playing with meat chunks again.
Walk towards cat.
Watch cat eye you.
Watch cat pick up meat and run away.
Watch cat drop bloody meat on carpet.
Watch cat fling meat onto chair leg.
Watch meat being decorated in cat fur and grit.
Watch for opening.
Grab meat. Ignore mewls.
Toss meat outside.
Retrieve Skooma from her bolt for freedom.
Put away leftover meat.
Take a shower.
Get out of shower.
Ignore Skooma's wails for outside.
Put on dirty clothes.
Grab harness and leash.
Trip on cat.
Try to put harness on cat.
Retrieve cat from howling at door.
Try to put harness on cat.
Retrieve harness from other cat's claws.
Put harness on cat halfway.
Sidle along floor until rest of harness is on.
Take cat for walk.
Ignore the wailing of other cat inside.
Unfortunately, walk is in woods this time.
Get back from walk.
Grab other harness and leash.
Try to put harness on other cat.
Retrieve cat from under table.
Try to put harness on other cat and wonder why she puts up so much fuss when she doesn't mind it outside.
Put harness on other cat.
Take other cat for walk.
Ignore howling of other cat inside.
Get sick of walking in the woods.
Get back from walk.
Remove bugs, twigs and other things from clothing.
Put on uniform.
Go to work.

And that doesn't include the nighttime medicating and grooming or playtime. But, it's all in a days work for a cat owner.
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