Little Black Beady Eyed Creepy Snakey Tail Opportunists - Paw Talk - Pet Forums
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Little Black Beady Eyed Creepy Snakey Tail Opportunists

Posted 03-26-2010 at 03:36 PM by
Updated 03-26-2010 at 05:01 PM by Storyseeker

What is it about them?

The last time I bonded this strongly with an animal was in 1980. He was a cranky cocker spaniel and I was an almost 10 year old kid. It's a rule that almost 10 year old animal lovers bond strongly with their pets.

I'm not mitigating the fact that most animal lovers grow to love their pets as much as they love a flesh and blood member of their family, but that has never been me.

I have always had a pet in my life, be it a lowly hermit crab, or an opinionated budgie. I'd even hoped I could recapture my cranky cocker spaniel experience when I adopted two needy doggie sisters about 10 years ago, but unfortunately a volatile sibling rivalry between them necessitated me keeping an emotional distance in order to be a good pack leader to them. They're good dogs, and I take good care of them, but I only have a most general affection for them.

Now I have my three boy rats. What is it about them??

They're destined to be huge black sewer rat looking monsters when they are full grown. In fact short of having red eyes and built in blood stains, they'll look entirely too much like the big plastic monster rats they sell at Halloween Express. You know the ones that come with little motors so you can velcro them dangling to your body, switching them on so they are writhing and thrashing as they 'devour' your flesh? I am speaking, of course, of the general public perception of rats in the US. Not that it's biased or anything.


I've had them only three weeks, and my little demon spawn have captured me in their nefarious spell. How dare they greet me with smiles at the cage door begging for nummies. Evil smiling demon spawn. How dare they act so gentle that my five year old can handle them without fear. It's a trick I tell you! How dare they give me kisses on my hands. I know they're marking me for sacrifice upon the wolf's hour.

How dare they sprawl belly and toes up on my lap and snooze as content as any basset hound on earth. One of them probably called the police to report a homicide and they'll now fake death so I'll look guilty. How dare they come running to me for protection when the big bad bathroom faucet makes a skeery noise. They're practicing for the final death mob. They're waiting until my defenses are down. How dare they brux like cheeto munching teenagers as they make like little neck warmers inside my scarf. Waaaah. Giving in...How dare they come down with a little sneezy cold and look so pitiful while I am frantically looking up the number of the vet at 9 pm to ask him shouldn't he schedule an emergency procedure asap? I...I...I...

I lufs my little black beady eyed creepy snakey tail opportunists. I am now their cheerful minion for all time.
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