How do I get over my depression over lost cat?
I have not gotten over mine; however, the age of your cat at this point would probably mean he has passed over, but I bet he's one of the two kittens you now have. I just know it.
As for running back to your home, I would guess that's what he tried to do, but it was too far, so maybe someone else took him in because your cat was tame. The two I lost would not be taken in because they were stray and only friendly to me because I took the time to be friendly and feed them. I blame myself fully, and I have no way of letting that go at this time. I still look for them, but there is no sign. None. Food isn't even touched where I leave it, where I thought they might be. One was a kitten.