I have 3 cats; Bentley, a 5 yr old male, Dolce, a 4 yr old male & Bella, a 4 yr old female (Dolceís biological sister). THEYíVE ALL GROWN UP TOGETHER. To this day, they still snuggle w/each other. Dolce has become my lap cat. Yet, now, if Bentley or Bella try 2 come near me or if I attempt 2 give them the slightest amt of attn, Dolce flips out & itís getting progressively worse. I donít have much of a problem w/Bella cause (A) sheís a more independent cat & (B) Bella doesnít take any crap from Dolce. Bentley, on the other hand, lost the alpha war, but Dolce STILL bullies Bentley terribly!
Bentley is the oldest out of the 3 cats & the largest. Now, I live in a much smaller environment, but itís still only me as far as humans go. I hang out basically in 1 large room, where I have my bed, my TV, & my recliner. The other room (where there is no a/c) there is another bed, the 4 large litter boxes (for the 3 cats), my dresser, etc. Bentley is now basically LIVING under the bed in the other room & apparently defecating under that bed too! This AM. I discovered that underneath almost the entire bed in the other room was filled w/dried up poop! Plus, the material on the bottom of the bed is all ripped apart. He must be crapping on the floor under the bed & hanging out in the box spring. This is much worse than I had thought!
A few mos ago urinating & defecating began. I have pee pee pads all over the other the 2 rooms. 4 awhile it was happening in areas near me too. I think Bentley & Dolce were both marking those areas near me as their territory while the alpha battle was in full force. That has stopped & itís clear that Dolce won the title. Yet, there is still a great problem. Even after placing 6 Feliway, Comfort Zone diffusers throughout the 2 measly rooms in my home, the intimidation & bullying is still going on, I believe worse than ever! I noticed that the urinating all over has stopped w/the Comfort Zone, but, the jealousy is still in full force. Bentley has no life, he lives in fear under the bed, he wants love & attention from me but heís afraid to get it! Even if I approach him to pet him, heís a nervous wreck that Dolce will see & go after him (which is exactly what Dolce does). Itís a shame because Bentley was always a sweetheart. He could easily be another lap cat if the circumstances were different. For the 1st 4 yrs of all their lives, they all slept w/me on my bed. Even then, Dolce was always right on top of me. This past yr & a half, in my 2-bedroom apt, Dolce will not allow Bella or Bentley to sleep on the bed w/me, even though they grew up all sleeping w/me! At one time, I had 5 cats sleep w/me & now Iím down to 1. Iím not a happy camper. I wouldnít mind so much if the other 2 cat didnít want to sleep w/me, but I know they do, particularly, Bentley!
Now, I have to keep dry food & water in both rooms @ all times, because I noticed Bentley was getting thinner & I saw what was happening. WHENEVER, BENTLEY WOULD COME INTO MY ROOM TO EAT OR DRINK OUT OF THE CAT BOWLS, DOLCE (Usually snuggling on my lap @ the time) WOULD ABRUPTLY JUMP OFF MY LAP & BULLY BENTLEY RIGHT BACK INTO THE OTHER ROOM & UNDER THE BED! So, Bentley couldnít eat any dry food or drink any water. Dolce would then come back on my lap as if nothing ever happened! WHENEVER BENTLEY ATTEMPTS TO COME OUT OF THE OTHER ROOM, HE SNEAKS AROUND HOPING DOLCE WONíT HEAR OR SEE HIM. BENTLEY LIVES IN CONSTANT FEAR & INTIMIDATION, HE WALKS ON EGGSHELLS! My poor boy! ITíS BREAKING MY HEART! I feed them wet food once a day every MORNING 4 breakfast, which they live for so to speak. They all LOVE their wet food! For a few now, Iíve had to feed Bentley his wet food in the other room. When Bentley comes out 4 breakfast, Dolce is more concerned w/chasing Bentley back into the other room than eating his own wet food (THAT SPEAKS VOLUMERS). This MORNING was the last straw. I woke up in bed w/Dolce snuggling w/me (as usual). He canít seem to get close enough to me. If he could lie on my face he would. You would think that Dolce would have be in heaven since he had me all to himself, but when he saw Bentley try to come into the room, peaking around the corner to see if I was up (thatís all Bentley did), Dolce ran off the bed & chased Bentley back into the other room under the bed (the usual). I got up & prepared their wet food as usual (now Bella has breakfast w/Bentley in the other room cause Dolce would inhale his wet food & then eat hers) Plus, Bella has always had a crush on Bentley anyway. Itís so adorable. Now, when Dolce goes to his dish & is not paying attn to anything else, I quickly bring Bentley & Bellaís food into the other room & they now run in there & wait 4 me. Thatís become the new routine. Anyway, this morning, I was preparing their wet food but Dolce got wise to me & chased Bentley into the other room & stayed in there! He didnít even care about his wet food out here. APPARENTLY, BULLYING BENTLEY TOOK PRECEDENCE OVER EATING HIS WET FOOD! Yet, about 2 hours later Bentley & Dolce were snuggling w/each other on the bed! Go figure! IíM SO CONFUSED!
1st & foremost, Iím sick over what heís doing to my sweet Bentley. Iíve tried everything Iíve read. I even paid an animal communicator (pet psychic) who read them all wrong. She initially saw a picture of them snuggling together & it tainted her reading. She was adamant that it wasnít jealousy or territorial, she said that I should take Bentley to the vet to make sure heís not sick w/a urinary infection, etc. Well, I did & thank God Bentley is fine. Besides, I live w/them day in & day out & see & whatís going on here. Plus, no on knows my cats better than me. Iím usually very in tune w/them & Iím not inexperienced when it comes to multiple cat households. 4 the last 2 decades, I havenít had less than 2 cats in my home @ once.
I actually considered finding Bentley a new home in which heís the only cat since heís intimidated so easily. But, we didnít have this problem before & he was perfectly fine w/my former 3 cats, who have all passed on by now. Besides, I love Bentley so very much, heís so handsome & so sweet. He has such a beautiful soul & he adores me too! Itís not fair to either of us to separate Bentley & me! Yet, Dolce is my buddy, my snuggler, etc. Heís always been kind of special to me, always stood out from the others.
Now, to add fuel to the fire (for ME), I met someone & 4 the time in over 10 yrs, Iíve opened my heart again & Iím in a serious love relationship, who asked me to move in w/him. Heís a large 2-bedroom townhouse. Iím considering it, but even if I donít move in w/him now, eventually, it MAY happen. How can I ever possibly ever move in w/him if this is going on? What if Bentley ends up defecating & possibly urinating all over his house! Or, if the territorial fight begins all over again in the new home, whereas Dolce & Bentley start urinating all over the house (his house) again to mark their territories in the new home. That would probably end the relationship I have w/him, because 1 can only tolerate so much of that. Iíve been through something similar before w/a friend.
PLUS, HOW IS DOLCE GOING TO RESPOND TO ANOTHER MAN IN MY LIFE (my boyfriend)? Thatís another whole issue! All of the Dolceís life (and, of course Bentleyís & Bellaís too), there have never been other humans in the house. Theyíre used to getting my undivided attention their entire lives, which is another issue Iíll eventually have to deal with. Unlike all of my former cats that have passed on, my current 3 cats are never around people. Iíve kept to myself 4 the past 10 yrs. donít have much company nor roommates like I used to. So, none of my cats are comfortable around any other humans but me. If someone does come to visit me, they all run & hide under the bed in the other room. This stinks because I tell all of my friends how cute & funny they can be, but no 1 ever gets to see that. But, thatís the least of my problems right now!
Iím happier than Iíve been in yrs in every other aspect of my life, but this is ruining it & stressing me out terribly & when I start to stress out, all the kitties sense it & they start to stress out themselves even more. My little family needs help more now than ever. I WELCOME ANY & ALL WORDS OF WISDOM, RECOMMENDATIONS, ETC.
I DONíT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO, PLEASE HELP ME, MORE IMPORTANTLY, HELP BENTLEY!
PS Ė So sorry this is so long, but Iíve learned how important history is when it comes to cat behavior. Plus, when I donít include the details, people suggest things that Iíve already tried, which is a waste of everyoneís time.