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post #1 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-15-2009, 07:36 AM Thread Starter
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At a loss...what to do!?

I am fed up...this might get long,so I apologize in advance.

I adopted Bam back in November of 2008.I was lied to.The woman who gave him to me told me he was a very sweet and loving cat.She didn't want me to meet him before bringing him to me (a red flag) and said she had to give him a home right away or he would be euthanized.I didn't think anything of it at the time,because from all the pictures I was sent he looked healthy and at the time I had no cats and was looking everywhere for a cat...so when she said she could drop him off the next day,I said yes!

Well for a week Bam would hiss and lunge at me and not let me near him.But I assumed this was normal since he was brought to a new home and enviroment.Within a week,he was slowly coming to me and finally let me pet him.However he continued biting me and hissing and growling at me for no reason,but sometimes let me pet him.

He growls at my 5 yr old daughter and do not go near her (fortunatly).I foster dogs and he hates these dogs (even though the woman who dumped him on me...I am sorry,but that is what she done,said he lived with another dog)and will hide under the couch almost 24/7,only coming out when I am in bed or he is sure nobody else is around and he has bit one of my good friends.As well as always biting me.It is getting riduculous...he has not changed since I got him in 2008.

Bam is fixed,was vet checked and seems very healthy...so this behaviour must have something to do with his history.I do not know what happened in his past,but he don't trust anyone.

In May or around there he accidentally got out when I had one of the windows open,he managed to squeeze through and was out the whole time.I rarely seen him.Well about 3-4 days ago (months after he has been out) I managed to catch him and bring him back inside.

That seemed a bad move! He hates my girls,was growling at my daughter and me and this morning he lunged at me as I walked by and he spit at me and attacked my foot (fortunatly I had shoes on).I also found poop on the stove! I was not too pleased...I know it was him,because overnight the girls were spent in a room,so Bam wouldn't hurt them while I was sleeping.It is very obvious that Bam is happier outside.

I am sooo fed up! If the woman didn't lie to me in the first place,I would not be in this situation! One of my friends suggested I give him to a farm,as he might do better as a barn cat.He does seem happier when outside,but living in a city...this is not a good idea.I do not want to look like I am giving up on him,but this is ridiculous...he obviously needs to go to a no cat,no dog and no kid home and with preferably one person who is patient...but it is hard to find a good,understanding home!

So what do I do!?




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post #2 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-15-2009, 10:38 AM
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if he didn't come home for months, I think he would do very well as an outside cat.
I say, if you find someone who wants a cat, can have him outside safely etc, you are better to let him go.
It's better for him to be with new owners and be able to live the loner life he wants than be with you and frustrated and making you frustrated.
He'll feel it anyway, and it'll make it harder to work on him being sweeter.
For him to be like that, he was not handled enough as a baby, and was probably found as a stray cat.
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post #3 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-15-2009, 10:40 AM
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He does sound as though he'd do better on a farm, where he could roam. Sounds like he was probably feral

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post #4 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-15-2009, 11:08 AM Thread Starter
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I feel bad...I do not want to give up on him,but he is not doing well with my family.Even before he got outside,he had these issues.It just seems worse now that I brought him back in.

I posted this on a couple other forums I am in,cause I don't know what the best options are!




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post #5 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-15-2009, 03:24 PM
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Obviously keeping him indoors where he is clearly unhappy is only bad for his mental stability. People who keep animals in situations they are unhappy is worse off for them then simply keeping them because they are keeping them "safe". As much as I hate the idea of outdoor cats in the city, I would consult the SPCA to see what they would suggest. Maybe in his case like we were talking about, euthanasia would be the better route unless being outside makes him happy. The actions may suggest he was a feral or half feral cat but the lady was trying to "save" him off the street, which is a good thing because she took him out of danger and had him looked over but is a bad thing because why do are people so oppsed to tethering dogs? Because it makes them unhappy and doesnt meet his needs, same as outside kitties.
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post #6 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-15-2009, 03:28 PM
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You're not giving up on him. He's clearly unhappy as an indoor cat. I think it would be better for everyone if he could find another home where he could safely be outdoors. Obviously I wouldn't rehome him with just anybody and it might take a long time to find a good place for him. In the meantime he can at least stay safe with you in your home.

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post #7 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-15-2009, 04:18 PM
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i agree with mtmaughan, you're not giving up on him! you're trying to make a well thought out decision. And i'm sure you will wait to find him a great family
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post #8 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-15-2009, 04:35 PM
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If you where lied too, it isnt your fault if you have to give him up. You obviously tried your best to live with him, but the safetly of you, Cloe, and your other pets is the most important! Since he is happiest outside, I think that giving him to a farm or somewhere like that is a great idea.



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post #9 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-15-2009, 06:17 PM
 
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Sounds like you should search out a farmstead who could use a mouser. He will never adjust to being an indoor cat and as everyone else said safety of all including him is a priority. He will love you for it.
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post #10 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-15-2009, 08:15 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks everyone.
I am so stressed out about the whole situation.
I cannot even explain how I am feeling.It is not his fault,nor is it mine.I am wondering if he was a feral or half feral cat? Very rarely can I actually pet him and even then he would bite me.These last few days since I brought him in,he mainly been hiding...but when he is out,he is such a monster.Maybe monster is not the right word,but he growls,hisses and spits and I have not been able to pet him since bringing him back indoors.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mtmaughan View Post
You're not giving up on him. He's clearly unhappy as an indoor cat. I think it would be better for everyone if he could find another home where he could safely be outdoors. Obviously I wouldn't rehome him with just anybody and it might take a long time to find a good place for him. In the meantime he can at least stay safe with you in your home.
Oh if I did rehome him,I wouldn't just throw him with anyone.
He needs a home with a very patient person...preferrably with NO cats,kids or dogs in the home,as he clearly needs to be the ONLY pet in the house.If there are kids,they have to be older...because cat bites are bad and if he bites a young child...well that won't be good.Fortunatly he never bit my daughter,but he has growled and hissed at her.

I am just super stressed right now.




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post #11 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-15-2009, 08:17 PM Thread Starter
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I am going to contact the SPCA and see what they say.
I don't always trust them,but I want their opinion in this situation.
I hate the fact I am even IN this situation.I was so happy to have Bam back in the house,but he is worse then he was.He was never a friendly cat,but I almost fear him now!




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post #12 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-15-2009, 09:32 PM
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That's a tough situation, but as has been stated above, you are NOT giving up on him!! Giving up would be dumping him somewhere with no regard to his safety and that is def. not what you're doing!! You are a fantastic pet-mommy and are seeking the best, happiest life for Bam!! He does sound like he was feral. I bet he'd be very content as a farm cat!! Good luck with Bam and don't beat yourself up over having to find another home for him!!

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post #13 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-15-2009, 10:14 PM
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As the others have said, don't look at it like you are giving up on him. He definately needs another living situation. And sad to say you may end up euthanizing him. Sounds like it is doubtful that he would ever really adjust to a domestic household. He probably was from a feral litter, and was not socialized properly or early enough. Humanely euthanizing him is not a horrible thing. Since he is neutered, he may be able to live out his life on a feral rescue. But I think it is really hard to find those.

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post #14 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-15-2009, 10:57 PM Thread Starter
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I don't know how I feel about euthanasia,as he is a healthy cat (at least physically)...however several people suggested that.I really don't know what I am going to do and I kind of regret even posting about this online...it is a hard and stressful descision!




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post #15 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-16-2009, 07:33 AM
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Well, look at the rescues in the States and even Canada (not sure so much about Newfoundland) But the ones who rescue fighting pitts. They are so pyhsically and mentally abused or unstable that euthanasia is the only option. I know Bam is healthy and if it were me I'd find it a whole lot harder (I never actaully met Bam) so this is why it's rational for me to suggest it. But to keep anything around while it is a menace to clear headed people or pets could be wrong. But allowing him access on a farm could also mean other diseases, predator vulnerability, exposure to the elements, hunting accidents (We're all familiar with the outdoorsy people here), and maybe he just doensnt know how to hunt for his own food? If he was put on a farm, and like when he with you outside, the food bowl would be put down but he won't go near it? If there were other cats, fights would ensue. There is a high list of pro's and con's...A friend suggested (on a matter totally unrelatd) to get a peice of paper and one side list all the pro's and on the other side list all the cons associated with the farm. THen do the same for euthanasia.
Pro's I can think we can all agree on is he would be alot happier outside, he could live a solitary lifestyle.....If you need any pro-con help I thik we can all pitch in with you
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