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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-18-2010, 07:21 AM Thread Starter
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Read This

WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES
Excerpt from a Dog's Diary........





















8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!






Excerpt from a Cat's Diary...





















Day 983 of my captivity....

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.


















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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-18-2010, 07:21 AM Thread Starter
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Sorry its so font-stressed!! I got this in an email!!
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-18-2010, 10:59 AM
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Love the title That was so funny! And, so true
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-18-2010, 11:11 AM
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Bahahaha! THAT IS AWESOME! And man it had me literally laughing out loud,because it is so true!




* Lisa *

* To the world you are ONE person,but to a rat you are the world *


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* It's a rat thing...you wouldn't understand! *
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-18-2010, 11:39 AM
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hahahahaha!!!
I LOVE THIS!
thanks for sharing, but a big smile on my face
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-18-2010, 04:15 PM
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I thought about writing one about my cat actually haha!
So cute!


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Purr more, Hiss less

Proud Owner to:
2 girl rats~Marlie and Lola
2 male cats~Scout and Oscar
1 girl dog~Kusa


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Always in my heart, my baby girls
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Rest in Peace Cleo, Lucy, Snickers, Maya, and Maggie

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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-18-2010, 07:30 PM Thread Starter
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^^ It lightened my day as well!!! I thought of you all as I read it !!! It's totally true, except in the case of Illusion (my kitteh) who loves everything like the doggie does ^^
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-18-2010, 09:39 PM
can't think of one, help
 
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That is so cute, I have a large smile on my face

Vicki

Rainbow, Abbles, Carmy, Kissy, Peaches, Cream, (kitties) and Littlebunny boy (elder bunny)

the pic is the last one of my meecee kitty (5/9/89 - 1/9/08)
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