Yesterday druing play time I took all the young males out to play 1st there so active. Them I get the old timers I call the older males out to play. Garth who is about 3 now was not himself. He would wander around and then lay there. I checked him out did the rat phone and all that but he was just not up to it. No bumps, Lumps, or anything. He would not even eat his favorit treats chees puffs.
Later on while relaxing I got him out for some one on one time thinking just maybe its his time. and he was crawling all over and eating his cheese puffs back to normal. So if figered that maybe the old man had an off day. But knowing he was old it still played in the back of my head. But he keep giving me the look.
So this morrnig while making my rounds checking every one for food water and play Garth did not come to the cage nore did he come when I called. So I got every one food in while still calling and noticed his sons Taj and Spud were not around either. but I seen then in the pop can box that I placed in there for them. As I pulled the box over no one moved and thats were I found Garth currled up next to his sons. It then dawned on me the look. And were I remember it from from a weird dream I had this summer.
Here is the dream I had I wrote it down after it happend.
I had a dream that Garth could talk to me and we were sitting on our couch in a beautiful feild that seemed heavly. In my dream I asked him Questions and this is how it went adn I hope that it brings you peace.
I looked at garth for a while and wit out words I knew he could talk and I 1st asked him if he was happy?
Garth: of course I have a big cage lost of buddys Plus you saved me from the pet shop and gave me the privlage to breed and give you some of my offspring that have filled your heart with joy like I have.
ME: Am I doing all things right by you?
Garth: Shure but it would be nice to sleep with you on your pillow or take naps with you liek before you got other rats for me to play with.
ME: Are you sick or anything are you goign ot pass anytime soon?
Garth: I dont feel sick maybe old at times but thats becuase the young ones wear me out and I dont know when I will go but I will let you know the best way I can when its my time.
I know that when he goes it will crush my world becuase there is a bond there like Willard had with his rat and he is my everything.
ME: What will I do with out you? how will I manage? I love you and I know that one day I will have to say good bye. And good things are supose to last forever.
Garth: Dont worry I'll always love you and be there in memories, offspring and in your heart. All I want in life is to be loved and feel safe and be reconized as more then jsut an old rat. You have given me all that. I will always watch over you. God made some of us with short lives and some with longer lives and all of us seirve a purpose that way and we all were created with and by love.
ME: What if you are in pain and I cant help you fast enough what if I missed something that could have saved you? I dont ever want to lose you.
Garth: You never miss a thing even when you think you have just think back. And even if you coudl have done something to help me earlier when its my time its my time. As long as you are with me in my time of need and hold me I will be alright and the pain will not be as bad if am in pain till you can get me help. You are being selfish by always wanting to hold on to me becuase when its my time I leave and become a rat angel to watch over other rats and be their Gaurdin Angels. When I leave I wont be able to talk to you like I am now but you'll know that I love you and understand and knwo that you cared for me. And I know that you will know that as well. Also if I am in pain like a lot and bite and you get mad at me I know that you still love me and wont mean any names you call me.
I told him I loved him in my dreams and knew that When I wake he coudl be gone or still here or that it was a really over reating imagination. Garth looked at me one last time and siad that every trear I ever cryed and when it was his time the ones I cry for him will help to keep the rivers filled in heaven and threw that river of tears he will always be able to look down on me. So cry and dont hold back weather happy, sad or what not becuase thats why there is no droughts in heaven becuase of all the love humends have for each other and animals that when you cry a little bit goes a long way and keeps heaven looking so beautiful in the tears of love that are shed.
I huged Garth and he started to give me kisses and it tickled and I woke up. there Jon my fieonce was with Garth as he sometimes brings him in to help wake me up. I had been cryign in my dream and he asked what was wrong becuase i was crying when I woke up I told him I would tell him later that it was ok just let me hold my Garth. I dryed my eyes and looked at him while Jon got me a coffee and laughted and though out loud nah it was jsut my emoptions making me have a really emotionla dream you were talkign to me and even thougth it seemed you were really their with me as in dreamign the same dream its imposible. Garth then winked at me and I was like ok imagination and again he winked and apeared to have a smile and then it poped into me head the Transformers fraze more then meets the eye. He didnt wink again but I feel as though I am closer to Garth and the others then before.
It is almost as if I dreamed the future and time was granted to me and its now the past. Although I cant say I that I wish I had more time, Granted I do wish I had more time but I mean time to do more with him. I spend every day with him and he was the 1st rat I had gotten in a long time since I lasy owned rats when I was a teen ager. He was a year old when I got him and was told he was old proably wont live long and I had him for over a year so he had to be 3 at lest or going on 3.
His sons are still in the box sulking and I know they say when rats are cage mates and close they get heart broken like we do and more for their companions. When I get them out they go right back in. I talk the box out they lay in that spot. I left him him there for a bit petting them so they could say good bye but there still sulking. The others will go over and clean them and lay by them but them come over and groom me and drink a little and take a peace of food and go eat it or some go lay on the leves or close to his sons. I am hoping that they will be ok. I know they are proably as upset as I am.
Garth is the Grand Father of Tattoie babies on the coutch play time photos. And Little Luke even though like mom in personality gives me that look at times that Garth seemed to Tattoie has the same look. I cant exsplain the look he gave me or luke in tattoue do. It a look that I seem and reconize like our bonded look you could call it. TO my other half there yes special like they are to me but to him he said he knows what I mean but has never seen the look from them like I do. Then again he could but to him its diffrent. to me its like we made a conection for a moment like a cord to a socket or cable to a tv to turn it on sorta feel then that it. Dont know if you all understand what I mean by the look or have ever had a certion pet in your life that has given you a certin look and you know. Almost like the movie Rattatouie were they bonded had that look were they understood. A conection.
Well I say my good byes and it sucks that its close to a holiday. I never have good luck on a holiday. I am either sick, get injured some how, or something happends. Last year the pond pumps froze and we thought all was shut off and it pumped all the water almost out of the pond so from 3 pm to 2 am we hald water from the creek to fill it back up after dad fixed the problem So got to eat dinner at 4 am the next day but we enjoyed the sleeping in. So I dont have to ask what can go wrong this year,
I am torn apart about Garth becuase he was not breathing heavy all things were better that eavaning. I to a point wished i was there with him but then again I dont think I could have handeled it as well as I am now.
I have tryed blocking it out knowing it was his time he is in a better place and going about my bizz getting things done that need done but it is slowly catching up and at some point I will deal with as in alone off somewere but I have to be strong and keep going for the other critters I can just quite now for a breackdown and leave my other half do it all. Besided Garth would not want me to beack down as in give up or since into a deep depreasion but to keep going knowing that he is with my other pets, and proably up there sitting next to my old dog and other pets by my grandfathers and other relitives fishen in the best fishen spot just waiting till its my turn. Besides Garht would look handsome with wings and a Haylo.
LIFE IS NOT TRYED IT IS MERLY SURVIVED WHEN YOUR STANDING OUTSIDE THE FIRE.
Now your finally HOME old friend. Life here is Just a pit stop and a few advenchers along the way, Home is were the heart which is in the sky beyond the clouds. I'll never forget you nore all you tought me along the way.
Quote: The Diamond Never More.