My heart breaks... - Paw Talk - Pet Forums
Mouse & Rat Discussion Twitching whiskers, tiny paws, and all else mouse or rat related.

 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-29-2012, 08:56 AM Thread Starter
Paw-Talk Addict
 
FlickeringHope's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Michigander
Posts: 1,468
 
My heart breaks...

I think Rafi has a pituitary tumor. He's been going downhill for about a week now, but I couldn't admit to He's exhibiting much of the signs we looked up. Loss of control of his arms and legs, arms and legs held to the front when picked up, refusal to eat, loss of coordination(he stands up on his hind legs to look around, and loses balance), he's become very cuddley, in fact I finally realized something was seriously wrong yesterday because his extremities were cold, and every time I tried to put him back in his bed, where there was a heating pad, hoping that he could sleep whatever this was off... he'd use all his will power to lunge himself onto the cage door and cling with all his might until I picked him up.

Now he's shying away from Edgar and Bram grooming him.

..I know drugs can alleviate his symptoms, and can never treat it. But honestly, I don't think there's much left of *Rafi* to save. He looks at me, and I feel like he's saying, with whatever part of him is locked away or evaporating, "I'm ready, mom. I love you and dad, but I need to go. I need to watch over you elsewhere, but not here, not in this body."
FlickeringHope is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-29-2012, 09:08 AM
Official Loofah Tester
 
Storyseeker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: SE United States
Posts: 1,365
Blog Entries: 13
 
Sweet Rafi. And such a short time with him.

My Jeffrey told me the same thing when he was ready. It was such a hard, hard week. I know you've loved him so much. It's so rare these guys have someone deserving of them who will give them a great life. I'm thankful you are there for him even for such a short while. There's just something extra special about those willing to love our oldies.

I know it's hard, but you'll do well by him. There's nothing more selfless in my mind, than being able to honor our fur babies needs over our own, even when it breaks our heart. And he is always there, even when his tired body isn't.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Hanging out in the Land of New Feetsies:
Melon, Skinner, Black Pete, Zanna, Custard, Tucker, Jeffrey, Zmei, and Windham.

Last edited by Storyseeker; 08-29-2012 at 09:11 AM.
Storyseeker is offline  
post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-29-2012, 09:14 AM Thread Starter
Paw-Talk Addict
 
FlickeringHope's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Michigander
Posts: 1,468
 
I look in his eyes, and he's so, so, lost. He just needs a little bit of help. It does break my heart to have him PTS .. this will be my first time. But it hurts my heart more to see him lay there, staring away.
FlickeringHope is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-29-2012, 12:18 PM Thread Starter
Paw-Talk Addict
 
FlickeringHope's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Michigander
Posts: 1,468
 
No time for PTS. Rafi is gone. A few quick breaths, a rub on his nose, and he was gone. I feel... so much relief, that he can finally go to where he needs to go. I miss you Rafi, I have a hole in my heart that will never be filled, but onward home you go.
FlickeringHope is offline  
post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-29-2012, 03:39 PM
Official Loofah Tester
 
Storyseeker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: SE United States
Posts: 1,365
Blog Entries: 13
 
It's kind of a relief to me too to hear this. I've been thinking of you all day. Its so good that he was with you to the end. And so much better for them when they go at home where they're comfortable and not fearful and stressed.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Hanging out in the Land of New Feetsies:
Melon, Skinner, Black Pete, Zanna, Custard, Tucker, Jeffrey, Zmei, and Windham.
Storyseeker is offline  
post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-29-2012, 03:49 PM Thread Starter
Paw-Talk Addict
 
FlickeringHope's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Michigander
Posts: 1,468
 
That...really means a lot you were thinking of me. I am new to the rat community, and it helps to know we were noticed. Thanks for that.

My lap is lonely, though Because the baby boys are still too little to sit still. Edgar is pretty mellow, though. Rafiki was his big brother. His mentor, it seemed like. Perhaps Edgar will fill my lap next. =\ I'll have to include pictures of them in a little bit.
FlickeringHope is offline  
post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-29-2012, 08:36 PM
Paw-Talk Golden Member
 
Vladina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,347
 
Flickering,


Oh, I am so, so sorry.


I saw another post that you left of your other kids and I commented on it, but I did not know yet that Rafi had passed away. I just now read this post.



It just broke my heart to read your post but you were so sensitive and keen to how Rafi was feeling, and thank the gods you were able to tell that he was ready to go.



Like Story said, letting our babies go when they are not enjoying this world anymore is a selfless act that is done for their benefit, not for ours.



You were right to know instinctively that even if drugs or other methods might have kept him alive, it would have been to make you happy and not him. That is incredibly sensitive and thoughtful of you to realize that.



Luckily, he was able to pass on in the comfort of his happy home, near Mommy, and that is such a nice thing.



I wish my own boys had been able to go that way. We had to make the tough decision with PTS, after trying so hard to save them with the hospital trips and oxygen tanks and finally realizing that our babies had just..had..enough. I knew they were not having fun anymore and they just wanted to go. Either way, it still hurts so much to lose your baby. Just remembering that time period is making me tear up as I type this. I bawled like a baby and practically became hysterical at the clinic when it happened. SO....we all know the hurt. It runs very deep. I really feel for you right now.


Again, I am so very sorry. Rafi was loved so much and he was a very lucky boy to have such a loving and happy home with you. And yes, relief is a good thing to acknowledge because now you know he is not suffering anymore. That is such a good thing to remember. I know he is very comfortable, pain free and happy right now...and smiling. And that is what will help you next time you are feeling that hurt, I think.



My kisses and love go out to him. I am sure he is surrounded with lots of new ratty friends from right here on this forum that have passed, including my own kiddos, Storyseeker's, Breyer's, Lilspaz's and many more ratties, and he is having a wonderful time. It is just so very hard on us humans that get left behind, yes?

Vlad

Proud Mom to Achilles
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
and Maximus
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Play Strong and be at Peace
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Wolfgang
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Klausse
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Mick
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Keith
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

You will always be with me, my sweet boys. I will see you at the Bridge.

Last edited by Vladina; 08-29-2012 at 08:58 PM.
Vladina is offline  
post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-30-2012, 10:41 AM Thread Starter
Paw-Talk Addict
 
FlickeringHope's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Michigander
Posts: 1,468
 
Thanks, Vlad I really feel for my fiance, too, who became all mopey yesterday. He didn't hold Rafi nearly as much as I did(because Rafi peed on him the first day here, and he never trusted he wouldn't do it again after that, lol - Boys will be boys....), but loved him to bits, and nuzzled him and held him in his hands. He was mopey until I took Bram out and handed him to him. He likes Bram's...uniqueness, so I figured he'd be a good remission rat for him. I was right. My fiance perked right up. And Edgar is my remission ratty.

..But my lap is still cold. I cannot believe we only had Rafi for 3 weeks.
FlickeringHope is offline  
post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-30-2012, 11:11 PM
Playful Pup
 
Summerclara1987's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Carthage, NY
Age: 32
Posts: 73
 
I am so sorry for your loss. It was so wonderful of you to take Rafi in when his previous owners just pushed him away. You have such a big heart. You are in my thoughts, and so is Rafi. I know his last 3 weeks were very satisfying for him, its just so easy to tell that you both loved eachother . <3 may he stay in your heart but now be free of any pain. Hopefully he gets to see all of our fur babies who have already passed and went over the rainbow bridge. Hugs and kisses

My animals are my babies:
Cats: Abegale, Figaro, Chud and Adalynn
Ferrets: Panda & Fox
Mice: Nakotah, Raina and Esme (all white)
Rats: Ava (white&gray) and Isabel *new addition* Opal and Zuri (part siamese)
My Parents Cats (I love them like they are my own): Cutie, Grey, Precious, Milo, Belindo (aka Billy), Oreo, Pepper, Koda and Fluffers

Rest in Peace all my babies I miss you dearly:
Mice: Sable (March 2013), Piper (March 2012), Kayleigh (Dec 31, 2011), Eleanor, Analeghsia, Chloe and Zoey.
My Kitties I grew up with: Babs, Gonzo. Moon and Angel
My kitties who never came back home: Peach and Buster
I miss you all, you will forever hold a place in my Heart <3
Summerclara1987 is offline  
post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-31-2012, 01:41 AM
Paw-Talk Golden Member
 
Vladina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,347
 
Summerclara said it so well. He was so lucky to have three wonderful weeks with you. I had no idea you only had him for such a short time though!!! Only three weeks! I guess I did not know the back story on Rafi. Was he sick when you adopted him or did that just happen after you got him? Either way, I am SO glad you adopted him and gave him a loving home for even a short time.

Vlad

Proud Mom to Achilles
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
and Maximus
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Play Strong and be at Peace
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Wolfgang
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Klausse
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Mick
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Keith
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

You will always be with me, my sweet boys. I will see you at the Bridge.
Vladina is offline  
post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-31-2012, 01:23 PM Thread Starter
Paw-Talk Addict
 
FlickeringHope's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Michigander
Posts: 1,468
 
Summerclara did indeed. Thank you. I'm pretty sure he had the tumor before we adopted him, but being my first rat, I thought his sluggishness was just a mixture of boredom and being old =\ He never ate really well. The days he ate the best were the first couple of days he was here, and when we introduced him to his little brothers. But he was "meh" about his food after that, but again, I just figured he was lonely because he wasn't living with his little brothers yet while we built a baby-proof cage. And ..I was wrong, I guess. =\ He was ill, not bored.
FlickeringHope is offline  
post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-31-2012, 11:02 PM
Paw-Talk Golden Member
 
Vladina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,347
 
Poor baby.

Rats live for the moment and a minute in their lives is probably ten-fold to one of ours, so I know his three weeks with you were treasured and he loved you and would thank you if he could, for loving him and taking him in. He will always be around you.

Vlad

Proud Mom to Achilles
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
and Maximus
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Play Strong and be at Peace
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Wolfgang
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Klausse
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Mick
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Keith
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

You will always be with me, my sweet boys. I will see you at the Bridge.
Vladina is offline  
post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-01-2012, 04:50 PM Thread Starter
Paw-Talk Addict
 
FlickeringHope's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Michigander
Posts: 1,468
 
Yes, and I feel good knowing his last moments were with me, not in a pet store
FlickeringHope is offline  
post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-01-2012, 05:09 PM
Paw-Talk Golden Member
 
Vladina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,347
 
Absolutely!! That is the best gift you can give a rat. A home, with love. You are so correct.

Vlad

Proud Mom to Achilles
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
and Maximus
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Play Strong and be at Peace
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Wolfgang
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Klausse
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Mick
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Keith
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

You will always be with me, my sweet boys. I will see you at the Bridge.
Vladina is offline  
post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-01-2012, 08:11 PM
Official Loofah Tester
 
Storyseeker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: SE United States
Posts: 1,365
Blog Entries: 13
 
You did well by him.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Hanging out in the Land of New Feetsies:
Melon, Skinner, Black Pete, Zanna, Custard, Tucker, Jeffrey, Zmei, and Windham.
Storyseeker is offline  
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome