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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 11-12-2003, 02:06 AM Thread Starter
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Arrow Big Decision! I've really been thinking...

Tonight was no exception. I was playing a little with Dweezil and Dante, thinking about how much I miss Daphne, and it hit me!
Dante misses Daphne! Why did it take me so long to figure this out! I've been trying to work with him. I talked about his rejection in another thread...
As usual, I sat down on the couch and started crying! I really, really miss Daphne. I cry for her often, it just breaks my heart. I know at the time I did the right thing. I know she is thriving, learning and very happy with her new family. I know all this in my head- but in my heart I just can't get over it.

My situation has really changed in the past few months. The new medication I am on has improved my ability to function SO much. So much so that my doctor is walking on pins and needles not wanting to change a thing... Of course I still have my ups, downs and bad days, but the range of bad isn't as bad and the good days are better than I can remember in years. I'll never be normal and I accept my limitations, and I accept the changing nature of this beast - but I feel I am finally over the huge hump. I am coping and this is a good thing! Just being able to cope makes things possible.

OK, OK Deja - get to the freakin' point already....

So, as I sat on the couch crying, Jim looked at me and said- "Do you want another bird? Do you want a new baby?" I know where he was going with this. We will be in Florida next month and I'll be visiting my favorite breeder/bird store. I just looked at him, didn't speak, just kept crying, like a big weenie!

When I gave Daphne up I moved Dweezil next to Dante in her former spot. It all hit me - it's just not the same for Dante. Dweezil really doesn't "interact" with Dante at all. Dante got really used to having a good buddy- and I took her away from him. I am thinking that this could be part of the problem with his attitude! Is he lonely for Daphne?

I know that with the nature of my disease comes the ups and downs. I know that when I had that last bad prolonged flare I was really in over my head with a Cockatoo. I just could not provide the level of care she required 100%. I did what I knew was best for her. I really did it out of love, but **** I am miserable without her.

Max is trained, field started and now Jim will finish him in the field. He even goes into work late on Tues. and Thurs. so he can take Max out for a few hours before work. My job with Max is basically finished. I have the time to work both dogs on obedience - it's been part of my routine for years. Jack and Max are very bonded and get tons of love, affection, attention and play time from everyone. The cats? They get whatever they want and need on their terms, of course!

What am I foaming at the mouth about here? I want another bird. I am trying to justify this want.
I am thinking about another Macaw? I've always been in love with Macaws.
Dante really is Jim's bird and Jim gives him love and attention. I love, love, love my Dweezil. I miss having a larger bird to love, bond with, train, play with....

Oh please tell me I am out of my mind! I have been running all the negatives through my head trying to negotiate with myself and weigh the pros and cons.

I know I am in the position to take on a new responsibility. I know there are breeds that are more forgiving than a Cockatoo. I will always, always want another 'Too - she was the best bird in the entire world. OMG I am so torn.

I know I can't be impulsive with this. I know that I have some time to do some research and make an informed decicion and choice. I really want another bird!

Help me brainstorm this, please!?? What breeds would you consider?? If you knew you could take on another fid, would you? Why or why not? What kind of fid would you add to your flock?

Thanks for listening to my rant guys... I know you can give me lots of good advice... I really need some!

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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 11-12-2003, 10:26 AM
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Awww hon, I know you really miss Daphne! And I bet Dante does too. They were together for a few years, right?

I think getting another bird would be a good idea. You know how to take care of birds, money is not an issue, you have the heart/desire & you know what is required. You know they give so much back to you!!

Now, what kind of bird? Hmmm, you know what I'm going to vote for...LOL A big bird - Macaw! I wouldn't say a too just because you have to be so careful having a too & macaw near each other because of the too dust. Those darn macaws have such sensitive respitory systems - of course it can be done, it just can be such a pain!

And there's nothing cuter than a baby macaw. Remember the one I told you about in my email? Omg, I haven't stopped thinking about her!! (She's only $1400 if you want to come to NC - $1100 if you finish hand feeding!! - what a lover she is....she's being hand raised with lots of love)

But, on the con side, a macaw will need tons of attention, like a too. They need the daily interaction, etc. I know you know all this. But they are a very needy breed. Unless you are going to get a pair - then they will bond to each other - require less attention but then handleing them is harder. Yanno?

In the future I have every intention of getting another bird. Just not yet. Toby's still so young. I have to make sure I can get him properly socialized, etc before I go to work on another one. And it will be another big bird. The love and affection you get back from them is unbelievable. Even when I was doing research on breeds I read all about how loving they are but I didn't fully realize it until I had Toby. He actually needs us, craves to be with us, loves us, etc. Yanno? It's the neatest thing.

If you did choose a macaw, there are lots of choices!! Toby has the cuddliness of a GW (biggest lovers! but a handful) and the playfullness of a B&G. And the beauty of both! It all depends on what you are looking for in a bird.

Of course, there are low maintance birds....but it sounds like you would rather have a big bird.

Maybe you should write out a pros/cons list and then decide from there if you still want one. If you do, then you get to decide which one! LOL Best of luck! (And you should post this at LandofToos!!)

Uh oh, I think I babbled again! :beam:
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 11-12-2003, 05:19 PM Thread Starter
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I never really realized that Daphne's 'Too-Dust might be harmful to Dante! Her cage was right next to his for the 2 years that I had her.
omg - I really have to say - the dust was incredible. I kept an air cleaner in there and on at all times. I had her dust covering everything and I was constantly dusting.

My all time bird of my fantasies and dreams is a large breed Macaw! I have wanted one for sooo long. My plan was always to start small and work my way up in size. I know they require tons of attention.
I think if I decided I could handle a large Macaw I would want to hand feed and wean. Although- that strategy backfired on me with Dante!
There is no way I am going to lose another bird to Jim

I am so partial to Macaws because I just love the way they look. I love their expressive faces - the way they blush when they get excited. I just totally love their clownish personalities too.
Dante has all the personality of a large Macaw packed into a mini size! He really isn't very needy or demanding though and I wonder if that is just a function of his particular personality.

OK - so tell me - what is the most important thing I need to know about raising a large Macaw? How much do they differ in personality- for instance - B&G, Scarlette, GW... they all differ in personality? I would love a hybrid as well.

Off topic - has anyone ever been to Parrot Jungle in Miami? It's one of my favorite places. I have to dig out and scan a picture of me covered in big birds and cradling a gorgeous Hyacynth in my arms like a baby omg I was in heaven :bfly: I try to spend a day there whenever I am in Fla. visiting my parental units.

Thank you so much for the encouragement Jodi- I know I really need to use my head and not my emotions when making this decision. I just realize that next month I will be in that bird store.... and there will probably be a baby in there that steals my heart- makes me go home and cry... omg

Oh, and Jodi? You could never babble as much as I do!!
I'm such a weenie!!

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