i'm not sure how to quote all the questions so i will seperate them as best i can
laura ann--we have a yellow tang, 2 false percula clowns, 4 types of damsels, a saddleback clown, and a pajama cardinal (which we plan on getting another one or two as they prefer to school)
leo--we have never had a problem with anyone fighting which is very possibly just luck, we have had this set-up since spring 2005, it is a 40gal. and we actually just ordered a new light from foster and smith last night--http://www.drsfostersmith.com/Product/Prod_Display.cfm?pcatid=12772&N=2004+113175 (i think this is the one,my husband took care of it) we ordered the 48inch 216 watt as this is plenty of light for soft corals, for filtration we have a red sea prizm protein skimmer as for being stressed out i got the good end of the deal with the salt tank b/c my husband does the good majority of the work and i just sit back and enjoy. i actually enjoy cleaning the tanks (we have a total of 3 plus 2 betta bowls) i find it kind of theraputic other than hauling water back and forth but it is hard since i am home with our 1yr old during the day.
sasami-we actually had a choc.chip starfish a red knob starfish, a ton of snails (different kinds) hermit crabs, emerald crabs, and a sally lightfoot but they have some have slowly died off and we are currently replacing them. we were going to order a cleaning crew from foster and smith but they were more expensive than our local fish stores.
thank-you everyone for your very kind comments, i really don't deserve the credit as my husband does all the hard work but thank-you anyway