Garden Snake - Paw Talk - Pet Forums
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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-25-2002, 12:19 PM
Akasha
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Garden Snake

Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass
snakes, not rattlesnakes. A couple in Sweetwater,
Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent
cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them
indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It
turned out that a little green garden grass snake was
hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up,
it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the
sofa. She let out a very loud scream.

The husband, who was taking a shower, ran out into the
living room naked to see what the problem was. She
told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down
on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came and cold nosed him
on the rear. He thought the snake had bitten him and
he fainted.

His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called
an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him
on the stretcher and started carrying him out.

About that time the snake came out from under the sofa
and one of the Emergency Medical Technicians saw it
and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the
man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the
house, so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered
to capture the snake. He armed himself with a
rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.
Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who
sat down on the sofa in relief.

But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the
cushion where she felt the snake wriggling around. She
screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the
sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her laying there
passed out tried to use CPR to revive her. The
neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping
at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the
woman's mouth and slammed her husband on the back of
the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out
and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed
stitches. An ambulance was again called when it was
determined that the injury required hospitalization.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she
saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife
bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by
the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a
small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the
man's throat.

By now the police had arrived. They saw the
unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that
a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to
arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain
how it all happened over a little green snake. The
ambulance arrived and took away the neighbor and his
sobbing wife. Just then the little snake crawled out
from under the couch. One of the policemen drew his
gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the
leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa.
The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and
as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and
fell through the window into the yard on top of the
family dog, who startled, jumped up and raced out into
the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it
and smashed into the parked police car and set it on
fire. Meanwhile, the burning drapes had spread to the
walls and the entire house was blazing. Neighbors had
called the fire department and the arriving fire truck
had started raising his ladder when they were halfway
down the street. The rising ladder tore out the
overhead wires and pulled out the electricity and
disconnected telephones in a ten-square city block
area.

Time passed...

Both men were discharged from the hospital. The house
was re-built. The police acquired a new car, and all
was right with the world. About a year later the
original couple were watching TV and the weatherman
announced a cold snap for that night. The husband
asked his wife if she thought they should bring in
their plants for the night.

She shot him...

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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-25-2002, 12:25 PM
 
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you know. i've read that before, but it makes me laugh every time. its silly how things can get out of hand.
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-25-2002, 03:41 PM
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Out of hand... no kidding, especially considering grass snakes are native to Europe, not Texas.

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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-25-2002, 06:29 PM
 
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Yikes! That is bad luck tot he 1,000 degree.
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-25-2002, 07:44 PM
 
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I've read a shorter version before. The long version is even funnier.

Rav- there are garden snakes in the US. They probably go by the name of garter snake or someother similar variety. I'm sure they live in Texas as well. I know they live in Idaho and Washinton. I've chopped them with the lawn mower.
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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-26-2002, 10:27 AM
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Yes, Texas has garter snakes, but they are a far cry from grass snakes, and there is no such thing as a 'garden' snake. Misnomers and general ignorance on snakes is the main cause of most people's fears.

Silly story or not... when you spend day in day out trying to explain snake species to people so they don't do stupid things to them, you are compelled to speak up. =)

Rav

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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-26-2002, 10:30 AM
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On a side note... same thing with what many people will refer to as a 'chicken' snake. No such snake exists. If you travel around the US, there are about 10 different species independantly referred to as a 'chicken' snake. Ie, anything that is near a chicken coop, MUST be a chicken snake. Just like anything in the water is a water moccassin and anything that shakes its tail -has- to be a rattlesnake. Its frightening. =)

Rav

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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-26-2002, 10:35 AM
 
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I understand your desire to educate the masses. I don't like it when people just have an uneducated fear of my pets who are virtually harmless. It isn't like Isaac my iguana is an aligator who doesn't get fed regularly. The worst he has ever done is chase someone to put them in their place.
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-26-2002, 11:10 AM
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Haha... my iguana will put people down, but she had a hard life before she came to me. It hasn't helped her disposition any.

Rav

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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-26-2002, 12:32 PM
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up here we call them garter snakes maybe garder snakes i'm not sure but there are a wide variey of species around here and throughout north america
 
post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-26-2002, 12:34 PM
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Since this has become more about snakes and less about the joke I'm moving it here!

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mom to three wonderful kids (9, 5.10, 4),
2 dogs, 3 hermit crabs and 2 bettas

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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-12-2008, 07:51 PM
 
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haha funny stuff
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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 04-27-2009, 04:58 AM
 
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Cool garden snakes

1st thread i have posted since joining as i have been nursing my pet corn Syruss back to health.... i do find the story of the garden snake very funny as i really cannot understand how anyone can be scared of snakes... my brother who lives up in Scotland is absolutely terrified of snakes and wont come anywhere near mine " bizzare " We were walking a couple of summers ago up in the woods up there , beautiful day and as we walked up this hill scenery was beautiful he screamed and ran like a lunatic because he saw an Adder . Obviously i did'nt handle the snake myself as they ARE poisonous but it was a lovely snake and my brother was being just a big fairy...Like i say '' bizzare ''
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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 04-27-2009, 04:02 PM
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This thread is from 2002
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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-07-2009, 05:01 AM
 
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garden snakes

That has got to be the best story ive heard about the little green snake crawling under the sofa ,,, 1 disaster after another it was great.
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