Not giving a dog the attention it needs after having kids - Paw Talk - Pet Forums
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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-30-2005, 12:32 AM Thread Starter
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Unhappy Not giving a dog the attention it needs after having kids

I can't remember if I told any of you that I made friends with the APBT/American Bulldog from next door, Oscar. I have been taking him for walks and when I go to my neighbours house, I always pet him and their other dog, Jade. The problem is, my next door neighbour, has twin babies and two other kids so she barely spends any time with her dogs. Oscar is just starving for affection and she said he has become very destructive. The poor dog never goes for walks unless I take him. The reason why my neighbour never takes him for walks is because he pulls a lot when he is on a leash and she can't walk him and push a stroller. Last night around 4:30 in the morning I heard one of their dogs crying up a storm and it turns out it was Oscar. He is crated at night otherwise he tears things up in the house. My neighbour said she is completely stressed out and said she shouldn't be stressed out over dogs. She is even thinking of giving them up but said she doesn't have the heart to do it. Today, I bought a rope tug toy and a huge rawhide for him. I spent a good 45 minutes with Oscar in my yard and actually wore him out (and vice versa ) I just feel so bad for him, as well as the other dog too. I know if Oscar had proper training he wouldn't pull when he is taken for a walk. He is excellent around kids and other dogs too which is great. He has a ton of energy and doesn't know what to do with himself so of course he is going to cause havoc in the house.

Don't people realize when they have kids that dogs still need attention? I know it is impossible to spend every minute with them but petting, playing, and taking the dog for a walk is still very important.
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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-30-2005, 12:58 AM
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That's really sad Denise. Is she a single mum? I can't remember. I'm sure it must be hard with twins and two other kids but any pet still needs to be part of the family.


With the warmer weather starting for you guys now can't she organise more outdoor activities with the kids, in the yard, so that Oscar feels like he is a part of it as well. I know my neice loved watching Nacho play with a ball and I taught her to count at the same time cause we'd count before throwing the ball and then cheer Nacho when he caught it.

I ask if she's a single mum cause Alex has started spending a lot more time with the animals. I'm going to be breastfeeding and he knows that the animals will require attention off him too. so if she's not why doesn't her SO spend time with the dog while she's busy?
We also won't be adding any more pets to the family until we are done having kids so we will know how much we will be able to handle.

Poor Oscar....at least he has you! Is there any way you could take him on if she does decide to re-home him?

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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-30-2005, 11:45 AM
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How frustrating is that Denise? Not only do people need to realize that the dogs still need attention after the kids are born but I sure wish people would think twice about how many animals they get knowing full well they will be starting a family soon. I often see very pregnant woman in my local pet store buying a puppy or in the animal hospital I work at, so that the baby and the puppy can grow up together. What kind of nonense is that? The puppy often gets neglected once baby is born.

If that lady has twins, I truely feel for her One baby is hard enough. It probably is a huge relief to her having you to keep Oscar busy.

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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-30-2005, 12:27 PM
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Do you think that she can afford to hire a dog walker? It is wonderful what you are doing for Oscar, Denise, but I'm sure that even you feel that it isn't realistic to believe that you will be able to do this for her forever ...

Unfortunately this sort of situation happens to a lot of pets after children come ... one child is usually not too much of a problem for a dog's needs but once the owner starts having a larger family a beloved pet will often suffer. It's sad ... and I believe she may truly love the dog. No one can blame her for taking care of her family ... but if she really loves her pets then she should do what is best for them and perhaps think about finding a new, loving home ...

I know it is hard to see, Denise, but at least Oscar has you thinking about him. Hopefully the owner will be able to get this situation worked out. In the meantime, I think it is great that you are doing all of those things for Oscar.
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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-30-2005, 05:45 PM
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How sweet it is that you can find time to look after these 2 dogs! If offered would you take them in?

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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-30-2005, 05:46 PM Thread Starter
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No, she is not a single mum. When I have come home from work, I see her boyfriend taking the twins for a walk and sometimes he will bring Jade with but never Oscar. Seems like he is just too much for them to handle but it is unfair Oscar is being neglected because he didn't get proper training.

As for me taking him in, I couldn't. Oscar does not get along with small animals and I would be too afraid of having a dog in the house that doesn't fancy small animals. Even though the cages are locked at all times, I never close their door because I like the room to have proper ventilation.

I really doubt my neighbour will give up the dogs. I know she was very overwhelmed and frustrated when I talked to her yesterday but I don't think she has it in her to give them up. Although, if the dogs (mainly Oscar) found a home where he would get proper attention, training, and love, it wouldn't be all bad.
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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-30-2005, 06:56 PM
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That's so sad Denise, poor Oscar. I understand it must be hard with him being a puller but if they don't want to walk him they could at least run around the yard with him.

I know you said he doesn't like small animals, but neither did Biscuit! It took me 8 months to gain her trust with the rabbits out of their cage but in their cage she was trustworthy within a couple of weeks. Never say never

I hope Oscar gets what is best for him...whether it be more attention from them or a new home that has the time for him.

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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-31-2005, 01:29 PM
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That's so incredibly sad. I love playing with dogs, especially older ones that don't get as much attention as the puppies.
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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-31-2005, 02:42 PM
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when I had my baby I had my puddle (who recently passed away) and a small chihuahua...Petrie (puddle) was my best friend and she would get in my lap and I would rock them both, and when I went on walks my mom bought me a stroller that has the baby seat and another seat lol for petrie, she loved to walk, just not far, she was a huge part of it, the chihuahua was a new addition my mom got to "grow up with Ashley" and I told her that was not a good idea, I had a new baby and petrie and I felt bad the little one didn't get as much attention, she was very protective of the baby though, when Ash would cry she would howl, and if I went to pick her up the dog would snap at me, this was not a good thing as I was scared she was going to scratch ash, I had to find her a new home because life wasn't fait for her, me Ash and Petrie did just fine...now we have 3 dogs and a cat and ash is 10 and loves it, but she has the picture of the little doggie laying next to her on the couch as a new born on her desk...she tries the guilt trip that she remembers her but she was 2 weeks old when I had to find her a new home, but I felt guilty

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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-01-2005, 02:36 AM
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aw denise. that's sad. it's so cool that you are helping oscar out. poor baby. maybe you could keep talking to her about finding them new homes? or as least oscar. i hope something happens.


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post #11 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-06-2005, 05:04 PM Thread Starter
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Yesterday evening I was talking to the neighbours that rent the apartment upstairs from the people who own Oscar and Jade and I found out my neighbour puts both Oscar and Jade in the same crate at night and the crate is not very big! My neighbour actually said to me yesterday evening "I wish I could give Oscar to you but my husband won't let me". Um, if your husband "won't let you", then why doesn't he walk the dog?! Or give it the proper attention and care it needs?

Jane, I agree with you, I wish my neighbour would find a good home for Oscar. They are keeping him due to selfish reasons and not the well-being of the dog!
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post #12 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-06-2005, 05:55 PM
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O Denise, you should just take him! I do hope they do what's best for Oscar.

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post #13 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-06-2005, 06:31 PM
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keep talking to them Denise, you might be able to subtly guilt them into doing the right thing! It must be so hard having that go on right next door.

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post #14 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-07-2005, 03:50 PM Thread Starter
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Lizz, Dave already said he doesn't want him. The whole destructive thing wouldn't jive in our apartment. The owners installed brand new oak cabinets in the kitchen, we have expensive stereo equipment, wood tables, etc. When I go back to work, he would be home alone all day and most likely he would have to stay in a crate until we get home and that wouldn't be fair to him. I am not doubting proper training would help him but Dave doesn't want to take the chance. Dave said if we get a dog, he wants a puppy.

I have tried giving sound advice when it comes to diet (both dogs are on Pedigree) , training, committment, etc. I think they are going to be the type of people that keep the dogs for selfish reasons. They are fun to have around but when it comes to proper care, it just isn't convenient for them.
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post #15 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-07-2005, 07:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Denise

I have tried giving sound advice when it comes to diet (both dogs are on Pedigree) , training, committment, etc. I think they are going to be the type of people that keep the dogs for selfish reasons. They are fun to have around but when it comes to proper care, it just isn't convenient for them.
That is just sooo sad

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