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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
when i was younger i was always on medication to help me deal with anxiety. i have been off meds, and release from therapy for around a year now.
i have actually been becomeing more and more stressed out, and anxious. i am not planning on getting back on medication, because i was worse on that than now. and my insurance doesnt cover me to go to any more theripy.
i was wondering if anyone else has anxiety attacks daily, or even weekly. i try to lay down an relax, but my chest is so tight i can breath too relax!! its very frusterating, and honestly all of that worrying makes me exhusted!!
anyone with ideas to help me other than seek therapy?
i wonder if there is a forum or group for this sort of thing?
 

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I do. It started when I was little but seems to be only getting worse. I've never tried medications but I did go to therapy for a little while though it didn't help :(.
 

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I have Depression & Aniety disorders.
I'm lucky mine isn't those heart attack feeling ones, but i can start feeling ill, and then don't see properly when they are real bad.
Mine are brought on from stress, with brings on the depression which triggers the anxitey.
I've just recently started getting help again. A book I reccomend is calle Mind Over Mood by Dennis Greenberger (PhD) and Christine A. Padesky (PhD), it's a 'work book', and you have to do the excersises But I find it VERY helpful once you undertand how to do them.

I have another book called The Anxiety Cure, My Dad bought it for me when i was younger and very ill. I've actually never read the whole thing.
I know here in Canada we have "Mental Health' and you can have your family Dr. reccomend you there.The services are all free, I'm actually seeing someone there now, and going to a night group once a week that I find is so helpful.
I find talking is the best way to healing.
You can keep a journal of your thoughts, and then reactions to understand what triggers the Anxiety, and then what you can do to calm it.
I to HATE medication, and have just taken myself off it (I cannot afford it anyways). I found many anxiety drugs to make me feel like crap, make the anxiety worse and make me super sleepy/dizzy.

I believe anything with the brain can be overcome, you just need to learn the tools that work for you. It's no quick fix (I so wish it was) and it is work, but well worth it in the end for sure!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
it would help alot if i just found a way to relax for a little bit! i cant even sleep anymore, and of course that doesnt make me feel better!
perhaps i need to go to the book store and find me some books on it. maybe they have a support group around here, and i can go to meetings or something.
 

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Aspires to Change Oil
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I find that I stress out fairly easily... I don't know if I have any issue with it. I know it feels like it and I dwell on things excessively.

I found through High school was the lowest point of stress and I was doing regular meditation to the point of actually being able to slow my heart rate with a deep breath. I hope to get back to it at some point. I just need to convince myself to focus enough to do it again.
 

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I would look for the books at your library first, that way you can decie which ones you love and then buy.

I suffered from depression, but learned ways of dealing with it. My friends Mom has really bad ones where she cannot leave the house. My Mom and sister also suffer them under times of stress. I am usually okay during times of crisis, but once we get over the problem I will you usually have an anxiety attack afterards letting go of all the emotion and stress.
 

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I do do, I have had my doctor try to put me on everything from Effexor to paxil to remeron and lots of other similar things. I never keep taking it cuz I cannot stand the way I feel on it. It feels like there is a barrier between me and the rest of the world, its like I respond the right way to everything but I dont really feel it, its like watching my interactions through a window or something.
Every morning when I wake up my stomach turns and cramps, my heart beats fast enough to hear it in my head and every muscle in my body is tensed, but its not a panic attack since panic attacks dont last longer than a few min or sec. I dont know what you can do, I dont even know why I wrote except maybe to share my experience with you. I dont know if there is a group, I dont know if there is one here, but probably somewhere. Boy am I alot of help lol
 

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I've suffered from anxiety disorders my life :( I've been put on every medication under the sun to try and control it, but they all made me feel dopey and gross. I tried counselling but it didn't help me at all either. I eventaully had to start teaching myself how to control it with breathing and occupying my mind. I still get anxiety attacks but I don't let them rule my life any longer. I know I will have to work through this for the rest of my life, but I refuse to rely on meds to do it. I found talking about it with friends and family was a great help to me.

Good luck :console: :)
 

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I've suffered from anxiety and depression but it's not too bad now. I used to have panic attacks and I've been on prozac, now I'm just on a low dose of dothiepin but that's more to help with my M.E. I've also seen a psychiatrist, psychologists and counsellors but in the end I started to feel better without anyone elses help. I suppose I'm still a stressed person but it's part of my personality and I have to live with it!

The only thing people used to tell me to do when I had the panic attacks was breathe into a paper bag and and count slowly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
thanks for the support everyone.
alot of my anxiety is because i think i "dont have enough time" and thats bull crap and i know it. yet i still stress over not having time to get things done.
work, clean, laundry, pet care blah blah blah.
and i DO have time.
i actually have been making a time schedule of the day and writing what i need to do today and what time i will do it. i found out that that helped me alot and i have alot more time than what i think if i just get stuff over with instead of setting around say"i dont have time"
but thats just a third of my problems! i havent been leaving the house other than to work and sometimes that nearly kills me. my social anxiety seems to be getting worse and worse.
 

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Aspires to Change Oil
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get out and find a group to hang with.. like a book club or something. I did a Friday night signing group that just... oh i was so scared at first for a long time but before you know it you cna get comfy. Then you have a safe situation to get out into and work up from there if you have anxiety about things. :) best of luck.
 

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i was a borderline manic-depressive when i was in junior high and tried a lot of drugs (illegal) that i truly don't recommend

throughout highschool i would have panic attacks and anxiety attacks after fighting with anybody that would fight with me - i went looking for fights (mainly meaning screaming matches, fist fights actually calmed me down)

i've gotten better as i've gotten older, but i could never take medicine for any of it (i take medicine really weird), what you need to do is figure out exactly what is causing you that kind of stress to make your body freak out - a lot of things cause stress, but usually there is only one or two things that actually push that "panic" button.

mine boiled down to being pulled different ways by my parents, my mother's family, my two sisters, and my boyfriend (who's now my husband) - they all expected a different person almost... my mother's family was trying to turn me against my parents (they did it to my oldest sister), my 2nd oldest sister way too neutral, my parents were defending themselves way too much, my boyfriend was too stressed out because his mother was sick and he was taking it out on me, but at the same time he was my only escape from my family, then his mother would get into moods when she would cuss me out, my boyfriend stuck up for me, eventually getting himself thrown out of the house, my mom's family bought me a car so i could work, told me i didn't have to pay them back - then 6 months later they got mad at me because i wasn't paying them back, so i ended up with parents that didn't trust me, a family that was shunning me (and still do), and a boyfriend with so many problems that he didn't need mine added to them, and two sisters on either side of the playing field... breathing into bags and pillows just didn't work for me anymore...

i don't interact with my mom's family anymore - one button pusher gone
i set down with my parents and told them what was going on and what needed to change, they agreed - another button pusher gone
my boyfriend's mother was put on better medicine and they reconciled - and another button pusher gone

i still have attacks every now and then, but not nearly as severe...
try to figure out exactly what it is that's tipping you over the edge... you don't always need a therapist, just a good listener
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
i dont know what my button pushers are. seems like everytime i am around someone talking loud or moving too much i really freak out. like today at work we had a loud customer. he knew the boss, and he would come back to the kitchen area to talk to her. it really put me in panic mode. i couldnt breath and was seeing spots. i was light headed too. i went outside for some air but i stayed all freaked out nearly a whole hour after he was gone. i think it was because i thought he was drunk (i asked the boss) and he wasnt, it was just him. so i think drunk people freak me out.
my boyfreinds brother has ALWAYS gave everyone problems. i dont want to go into it, but he is a very voilent loud drunk. so i think thats why if i think someone is drunk or if anyone just doesnt appear calm i freak out.
but that doesnt explain why every day it seems like its a struggle for me to get out of bed. i always feel so over whelmed and i honestly dont know why. i have been feeling better these past couple of days, and i have really charished them.
i never feel like i have enough time to do anything! so that also makes me have panic/anxiety attacks. but thats bull crap i have plenty of time.
the apartment being messy has been really sending me off the deep end. but lately hubby has been keeping it clean where i dont come home to a messy place.
i spend saturday and sunday crying...
and i dont know why! i was just sooo stressed out. but i dont know about what. i get where my stomach is sick, im shaking, cant breath, and getting dizzy. i seem to always look for the bad in everything. i need to work on this, i know being so panicy is awful for my health and my hubbies and my pets! If i am stress seems they are too. i keep reminding myself that and it calms me down.

im sorry to hear about your bad family luck. i need to be more greatful for what i have. i have a great life in my opinoin. it makes me sad that i feel the way i do. i should show nothing but gratitude to have a job with easy going people, a home with FREE everything (i only pay a cell phone bill), and a family that is always there for me, not to mention a loving hubby and such darling pets. that are all heathy!!
maybe i need to start taking time out of the day to just think about what all i have, and be greatful.
thanks for everyone's support.
 

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(if you don't already) maybe it would help you to carry around a picture of each of your pets, a picture of you and your husband, and anything or anyone that makes you feel better. sounds like the people you work with would be understanding enough to let you sit quietly for 5 or 10 minutes by yourself (in a back closet or somewhere quiet and alone) and just look at your pictures and breath. then you can try to concentrate on what a good time you were having when you took the pictures instead of what is riding your nerves.

i'm like you with the loud people - like if i'm at a department store, trying on clothes and then all the sudden a group of people come into the changing area, i start getting jittery like i'm doing something wrong and am about to get caught (even though all i'm doing is trying on stuff and i've never even thought about shoplifting anything). it helps me to go shopping with one of my sisters, then we're in stalls next to each other talking, that way i'm concentrating on her instead of other noises around me.

it sounds like you like your job, but i wonder if all the noise of the restaurant is what is keeping your nerves so jumpy - i'm not saying you should quit, but maybe consider different hours when it's not so busy if at all possible. i worked in a pizzaria in highschool and i know what kind of pace you have to keep during the dinner rush. maybe you can just try keeping the lights to a minimum when you're at home to keep you calmer. and i know how daunting a big mess can be to clean up, i just never know where to start and so i put it off, but eventually i get so fed up with looking at it that i have to clean at least a little bit of it up... but i get stuck on something and lose my train of thought... ADD plus anxiety don't mix well

it is nice to find someone who understands the "untreatable" anxiety - sometimes my husband flat out thinks i'm crazy when i scream at him at the top of my lungs and then burst into tears for the next hour or so
 

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I know where you are coming from and have been there myself. I tried prozac and counselling, but neither made much difference to how i felt. i felt over whelmed too and couldn't figure out why. Similar to you I felt I didnt have time to do everything i should, although really i did. I was going to work and that was it, i shut myself away the rest of the time mostly. I cried at nothing and couldnt even understand why on earth i was crying at such stupid little things.

Its hard to say where it ended, as it was as gradual as how it begun. One day i realised that things were good and it seems to be going ok now. I still have bad days sometimes, but try and keep busy because i dont want it to get like before.

I think i had got to a stage where i felt so lonely and trapped that i thought i must see my friends. They had been in touch by text but i always made excuses to not see them. So i felt like i wanted to get out, and luckily a few days later a friend invited me over for coffee. I plucked up the courage to go, and had a great time, although i was still a little nervous. It was just so lovely to see her again, and she was really understanding.
From then i began talking to my friends and family about how i felt, which definately helped me.I took it slowly and gradually started going out again, just coffees at their houses at first, until i felt up to going out somewhere for the evening.

I found a new job which rejuvanated me, and some new hobbies. I think for me, all these things lead to me thinking, what have i been doing, and a determination to get my life back to the way it used to be.

I think a group or forum is a good idea. It sounds like your hubbie is suportive, but it sometimes helps to talk to someone else. My partner was supportive, but it only made me feel more guilt to fel like i was burdening him (i'm not saying thats what you are doing, thats just how i felt at the time :) ).

So good luck, remember you're not alone, and sorry this was so long!
 

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Can't Stop Touching Her Eyes
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I too suffered for some time with anxiety and depression. I think they really go hand in hand. Actually they both seem to run in my family on my moms side. I have watched my mother over the years struggle with it. I think mine came when I completely felt like I was out of control of my life and that I didn't have anyone to trust to fall back on. My twenties were awful. My parents were breaking up and there was college. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I had tons of guilt b/c the college I went to wasn't cheap and I didn't know if I made the right decision with my major. I also know that one of my "triggers" is feeling like I am being pulled in 20 different directions.
But it does get better. It really does. I think you guys are on the right track finding your "triggers" and I admire you for being so brave and facing them! That was probably my biggest problem was trying to bury my head in the sand. Also when my husband (still finacee at that time) moved into our house I would constantly threaten to leave when we got into a fight. Every time we fought I would assume he got mad and didn't want me around ever again. It took some time and tons of tears to realize this was not the case. I know now that he loves me very much even if he blows his top. This realization has helped me tremendously. Also I credit all my "babies" over the years from keeping me from doing anything drastic. They have given me the drive to get out of bed in the morning many times.
My turning point came after I was married and living in our own home (with my name on the deed). I began to realize that I needed to concentrate on my husband, myself and our little "family". Other family members had to respect this and luckily for me they do. I also needed to explain this to work. I even left my job over it but am back with the same company again. That also made me realize that they really liked me and wanted me working for them.
I also don't hestitate to ask the doctor for help at times. I have found Zoloft (and now a Zoloft like drug that comes in generic) very helpful at stressful times. I had gotten rid of the heavy feeling in my chest (that I always say felt like a cat sleeping on my chest) and I don't want it to come back! When I get that sensation and I know the stress is not going to let up soon I go to the doctors. I am much happier and therefore so is the rest of my family!

I do hope you guys find relief soon. I feel for all of you b/c I have been there. Hang in there and know that life is tough sometimes. I was looking at your ages and they were my hardest times! I also think what makes it even more difficult is people assume when you are 19, 20, 21 you are young and carefree. It's not always the case.
I have to say that my best times have been 29, 30, 31, 32 - and I cannot wait to see what 33 brings me! Each year has been getting better and better. Just wait and see - you will get there!

In the mean time you always have your friends here to lean on!
 

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Thank you Kathy.

My husband and I broke up 11 times (yes, I kept count) in our 4 years of dating before we got married. We'd fight (usually I'd start it), then break up for a week, and then get back together. We still have major fights that will make us go to separate ends of the house (usually he's upstairs, and I'm downstairs). A few hours later, he'll cave (I'm too stuborn for my own good) and just come up to me and hug me, and then we're done with it and getting along like we didn't have a fight at all. Lucky for me he's come to have a weird understanding about how I click. I can attribute that to us being together so long (6 years this past February, 2 years marriage in October). He's a good man and I'm greatful for him. I almost feel as though if it weren't for him then I wouldn't care so much about being self-destructive. But because of him, I try to keep my destructive nature in check. How ever much sense that makes, that's what I like to think anyway.

My "babies" help me as well. I know that I am no where near ready for children, or if I'll ever be. But my buns give me something to truly nurture. I can only nurture my hubby so much before I replace his mother.... but I am "mommy" to my buns, and that's how they treat me.

I had my first real job right out of high school. I'm just now starting to not always have someone looking at me as "the kid" in the office. I cherish it when someone younger than me works in the office. I interviewed with a girl 2 years older than me for my current job and we even got on that subject. I got the job and I found a new friend.
 

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Can't Stop Touching Her Eyes
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It is wonderful that your husband knows you so well. That is very important. Just make sure he knows how much he means to you. I am the one that typically caves in fights. Now that my husband has made me realize what I mean to him it makes it all so much easier. The only thing I don't cave about is the kitties. He HATED them at first. He didn't want them in the house. I was willing to break off the engagement b/c of it. But he backed down. It was a subject that would come up from time to time and result in a huge fight. I finally told him once that was the last fight I would have with him over them. The when he brought it up I just refused to fight back and walked away. Now he is starting to actually like them! It's amazing to watch him grow!
I know I will never be ready for non fur children. Sometimes I wonder why people even want them. I am turning 33 at the end of this month and I am perfectly content with my life and my "kids"! I warn you if you find youself like this you will have trouble making people realize that you don't need to have a child. I think that is my biggest struggle now. Making people believe that we are happy with our lives and don't need a child to complete us. I really am a mom already!
I am so glad to hear that things are going well now. And you know where to find me if you need to vent!
 

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I make it a point to kiss my husband and tell him I love him every morning and at night before I can go to sleep. He likes to brush it off jokingly, but I don't leave him alone until he tells me he loves me back and gives me a good kiss.

Both of my sisters have a little girl a piece (they'll both be 2 this fall) and they are convinced that I'm going to surprise them in the next year. I really don't want kids. I'm glad you've been through that, too. Just because I'm married with a house and some kind of financial security doesn't mean I have to have children. That's one of the main reasons my parents want pictures of my bunnies I think. They may have come to terms that I may never have children. I never wanted children even before I was ever questioned about it (so it's not a reverse psychology thing either). Some women don't have children... it's not that unorthodox. :shrug:
 
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