[FlickeringHope]

Right now I'm wrought with a mixture of anger and guilt. Today my parents gave up *another* pet. The first one ever was our dog, Snowball, she was given up because my mom developed asthma to her. Years later it was Floppy, a guinea pig; because she was too noisy and required frequent cage cleanings and my mom just didn't want to put it up with it anymore.

A year ago it was Duchess. An adorable black cat they adopted from a rescue facility. They gave her back to the facility after only a few days because she was too "rambunctious", unlike the previous family cat we had who my mom considered to be "perfect" even though, frankly, that cat(whom I have, which is why I don't count her as being given away, because she was the family cat to begin with, and I'm just the one who wound up taking her) is just too cowardly to get herself into mischief.

After that it was Lightfeather. He was a budgie; they actually RELEASED him into the park because my mom couldn't manage to tame him and thought he'd be better off with someone who was more experienced, and then couldn't manage to find anyone who wanted to take him, so my dad put him in his cage in the car, drove to the park, opened the door to the car, and just opened the door of his cage and he took off.

Just today it was Snickers, a cat they adopted from the same facility. Their reason this time being, "We want to travel... we don't want to travel and have to worry about a pet at home." Their other reason being in late April I'm due to give birth, and my parents are going to come up here for 2 weeks to see him. They can't seem to find anyone(so my mom says, anyway...) to find anyone to take care of Snickers, especially if my brother comes along(which may or may not happen, it depends on his boss). Usually she asks her best friend to take care of their pets when they're away, but not her best friend is taking care of her husband who's battling I think it's.....colon cancer(he's doing better, by the way - at first it seemed there wasn't much hope), and she doesn't feel it's right to ask her to come and feed the cat.

Anyway... I got upset because she just gave Snickers away. She didn't interview anyone to see if they fit the bill to take their cat; she just.....gave her away. And I don't understand how she could do that. If I wind up having to give away any of my pets from being incapable of caring for them after our son is born, I sure as **** wouldn't just give them away to any old person. I'd interview them, ask them questions...see if they knew ANYTHING about how to take care of them. And most of all, to see how I felt about them in general. But to just...pass away my pets without seemingly a second thought? My RESPONSIBILITIES? What the ****? I can't do that. They taught me to be responsible - my first pet ever when I was a child was a hamster - and now it seems I'm more responsible for my pets than they are.

I told them I understand their reasoning. You want to travel, fine, cool, awesome! You're getting irritated with them - fine, cool, I've been there. I've gotten over it, of course....but I've been there. But that just giving away pets like they have been was just irresponsible.

So why do I feel guilty? Because I've been stupid. I should have SEEN the pattern. I should have foreseen that it would continue to become an issue. But I pushed the thought away. They swear they're done with having pets. That they've had it. But... I don't know if I can even believe that. I sit here, thinking about all of the ones they gave away...and increasingly feel more guilty about each one, because I should have pointed out the pattern to them sooner. But I didn't, I tried to err on the side of my mom's feelings, because she felt lonely and depressed without a pet, and liked having a companion to greet her when she came home after work and her husband wasn't do back for a few hours still. But they swear they're done.

Is this a pattern familiar to anyone here? Any possible....REASON for it?

 

[FlickeringHope]

I just got off the phone with my mom. Thank goodness, she sees now she made a hasty decision. She still promises they won't be getting any more pets, though. I do feel better. Still....hasn't anyone known anyone who's done this? Because I still cannot forget all the pets they've adopted and given away a few months later.

 

[christine]

That is horrible. I've had my parents do that to MY pets. First it was Jesse (we'll start with her becasue they SWEAR they explained to me that they were going to put Eleanor down...I remember saying it will be a FEW days, not you have till tomorrow, but whatever) Jesse kept starting fights with the Pitt Panda. Panda won't back down but didn't start them! They tried to rehome Panda (who also adopted me) but wound up putting Jesse down becasue Panda bit James. They didn't even TRY to rehome her! "no one wants a part chow dog" they said. She didn't look it, and panda looks pitt! But they tried to find her a home. So without asking me THEY made the decision (while I'm living here mind you) to put her down! I was MAD

Next was the cat I adopted, Jester. She put him down because she didn't want to take the time to space out small meals since he would gorge then puke. She said that took too much time. FINE! So why not give him to me? I know Xena wouldnt' ahve liked it but he WAS MY cat!

I know putting my animals down is different than giving theirs/yours away but still it angers me that they don't seem to care that much. They "feel guilty" they say but they didn't even try anything to fix what the problem was with Jester or find Jesse a better home! UGH

 

[tommycat]

My mom did the same thing to my older sister's pets. (2 cats and a dog; maybe more--I was too little to remember.) Well, a couple years ago, my neice got the bright idea that Grammy 'needed' a cat because she was lonely. What a mess! I tried to talk her out of it cause I KNEW that once she had to scoop litter, feed her, etc. she wouldn't want it anymore. I was right! She hadn't changed a bit. So they had to return her to the people, and the people just threw her outside. I was FURIOUS and it almost caused a huge family fight.
I guess some people just are incapable of feeling as deeply as we do about our pets. I hate even thinking about it!

 

[FlickeringHope]

I am so sorry Christine, I agree, it is totally different, but it's definitely worth sharing. In either case, it's still giving an animal away. Ending an animal's life out of convenience is.... something unforgiveable. And I wonder what goes through their heads? Do their little lives really mean so little? That they're disposable? No one gets into any trouble for putting an animal to sleep out of convenience, but if someone were to end a child's life out of convenience, they get tossed in jail and the key thrown away. What gives?

I've been trying to think of what could be going through my mom's head and today she tells me on the phone, after I was honest with her and told her how truly upset and angry I had been, that "I guess your...love of animals stems deeper than mine." She says dad gave in to her want of pets, even though he's never wanted pets, which is true; but that's not to say he hasn't ever gotten attached, the only pet I've ever seen him develop a true attachment to was our first guinea pig who for whatever reason chose my dad, and would squeal in delight whenever he heard his footsteps(and he KNEW the sound of his footsteps).

I'm upset with my dad because Snickers adored him - my dad is Snicker's "person", but he was getting frustrated with her the last several days because she was always hanging around him, and getting into mischief like getting up on the kitchen table, and sitting on his lap when he was eating his ritual bowl of cereal after work. I can't imagine giving away a pet that adores me. I mean, I was downstairs today trying to clean up the room to get it nice and organized for our baby, and two of the cats both laid down on my lap(which is....shrinking). I could only stand it for so long because of the position I was in, and general accumulative soreness these days because I'm gaining weight, but it was a really cute scene and it would've been great if I could've grabbed a camera and snapped it. I couldn't imagine, on the days I do get frustrated with them, ditching them off with someone else to relieve my irritation. I told my mom sometimes you truly need to take a step back and evaluate the situation. Don't make a rash decision based on what's going on in the future. I could, all too easily, give our pets away because I don't foresee having much time for them after our baby is born - but I'm not making any decisions yet until we get to that day, and probably after we've found a routine will I make any decisions.

Still... it was excuse after excuse, when it became difficult, my mom thought the noble decision was to find them a home. With Floppy she didn't want to maintain cage cleanings, either. Finding Floppy a home so she could have a cagemate came as the second reason. She'll honestly say she didn't have the time to do all the cage cleanings.

With Duchess, that was the second strike. Duchess was just being a happy, rambunctious cat that, with effort, they probably could have quelled to be a reasonable amount. They just didn't want to put forth the effort. But she said that they were older now, and didn't have the patience to deal with such a hyperactive kitty. So away she went....

Lightfeather was the third strike for me. No, he didn't seem to be tamable, and again, she did hope she could find him a home with someone who could both tame him and give him a friend. She never really complained about his cage cleanings; she just complained that she couldn't seem to tame him, and wondered aloud the point of having him, if he didn't even enjoy being around her?

I feel guilty about Snickers because I feel that was my fault. For one thing it's not just Snickers, it's Snickers and Missy. Missy is an elder cat she adopted from her best friend. Missy started getting herself in trouble so I suggested maybe she was bored and would like a friend. So my parents adopted Snickers. Perhaps if I had just left well enough alone they wouldn't have had a reason to give any further pets away, and would've been perfectly fine with Missy. But once again I had opened my mouth and caused a negative impact. :/

tommycat - What irritated me was during our first phone call, my mom said that when she handed the phone to dad, he would "Try and explain it to me." I told her there was no explaining, I understood perfectly well, that I was simply trying to tell them that it was irresponsible, and if they did indeed want to find Snickers another home, to interview a bunch of people and chose someone that met their expectations instead of just handing her off to the nearest person that said, "Sure, I can take her." That's what I would've done - if I wound up having to give away any of my pets, I'd want to know what they knew about that pet as a species, what kind of home they'd be bringing her(all my pets are female) into....etc.

 

[christine]

Yea I was mad when my parents put down my animals. Jester just couldn't learn to eat like a gentleman. Well 1) he's not a gentelman...he's a cat...there's a difference! And two, stop leaving the PAPER bag of food out that you KNOW he chews through! They did try (barely) to feed a few meals a day instead of continous but they thought it was mean to the other cat Suess. Well they both wouldn't starve. They were over 20 POUNDS! Well Suess still is since he's alive but stil! You really think that cutting down their food was that big of a deal? When Mom did try, she left the bag of food on the ground (the ones like purina or whatever) and he would tear through it for more. IF YOU KNOW HE IS GONIG TO DO IT, PREVENT IT!!! UH...DUH?

Suess was miserable then mom said she shouldn't have done it...again, duh! Jesse was a dominant dog and a bully. I know that but if someone was willing to adopt the pitt, why not try the chow? Yea she didn't listen well but that's because she was like me. I do what I want unless I have a GOOD reason not to. If you can tolerate me why not her? (I've noticed most of my animals act just like me! They don't look like me, but they act it! ANYWAY)

Then comes Eleanor. My parents swear UP and DOWN that they told me they were going ot put her down the next day! I was young so I "don't remember the story right". Uh...yea i do. You brought her home and said you guys needed a FEW DAYS to talk about what you could do. Next day, I get home from school and no Eleanor! I WAS MAD! no...i was BEYOND MAD! That cat gave me more attention than my mother! And you just do that and say you told me what you want me to believe! I JUST got rid of her ashes. It was time. I mean 11 years is a long time to hold on to her, but it made me feel good. It made me feel good to set her free too but I still have the box she came to me in...I'm sorry this isn't my thread but I hate people who have no respect for animals lives. My mom and dad respect THEIR animals lives...but apparently when it's my animals...eh it's inconvenient to try to fix it. Sheesh! I'm training their TWO new dogs! And it's inconvenient for YOU? WHAT??? I swear...I might take Snoopy with me when I move out. that dog LOVES ME!!!! I don't want her to be given away or put down when mom gets too busy to give her enough attention. She is a rodeshian (?) ridgeback so she needs more attention than a pet or two and into the backyard. i walk with her at LEAST once a day if I can. If not I wrestle with her...and mom? "Good Snoopy" *pats head*

ARG Sorry for ranting and maybe stealing post. Just it's been on my mind and I completely agree! You can't just let a CHILD become attatched to someone then they just give it away becasue they want their own life now! LEARN PEOPLE! you don't have children, let them become attatched and when they are old enough and know what's happening you don't just give them away....well not usually, there are cases but that's not about this

 

[Purple-Hops]

Wow, how awful. What awful stories. It is certainly NOT acceptable to give away animals for poor reasons. Sure, if the gp is loud and messy rehome it to someone who is experienced in them. Fine, if your little budgie is "untamable" it still needs a home, it is NOT a wild bird and certainly, unfortunately, succumbed to either a predatory bird or cat or just starved simply bc its food always came in a plastic dish and he couldn't find that plastic dish in the park I hate how old fashioned people can be, once animals are pets they can NEVER be wild again. That's like here, at a famous turtle release pond (vernacular of course) people release their RES when they get too big. Bc the pet store sells them for 50$ when they're little bitty babies and do not tell the owner how big they will get.

 

[christine]

My mom is talking about giving James the dog Maggie. Can I have Snoopy? Nope she needs to stay here. Oh btw mom now lives in another city during the week for her job and the only ones who take care of the animals is guess who? Me. If I can't I have to work it out with James. But Snoopy will be better cared for here? Really? Hmmmm who bought the toys to keep them entertained so they won't destroy the backyard? Yup, me. GRRRR I'm so worried when I move out that all these animals are going to go away or be put down cause it's too difficult to care for them.

 

[Cynster]

At least they might be in good homes now. I kind of think people who aren't happy with their pets are just better off rehoming them to people who will care for them, but I agree, at least do the interviews!

And compulsive putting animals to sleep is almost criminal to me

 

[christine]

I'm working on getting Winter closer to me where I live now. I've moved out and am working (calmly) with my mother on the idea of giving me Winter (like she's promised for EIGHT years). Saying how it would be in Winter's best interest to be closer so she can be ridden and used and exercised like she's supposed to. We'll see.