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Feeling really horrible. Lost my Monkey

1653 Views 6 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  Vladina
I rushed my rat, Monkey, to the emergency vet Sunday night ($250!) because he was not acting like himself, really weak, cold, wheezy breathing, and the night before he just wanted to cuddle up under my blanket and chatter and be comfy when usually he is very energetic and wants to play. I figured hey I'll make him a vet appointment but the next day when I got home from work it was bad so I rushed him into the emergency vet - who diagnosed him with pneumonia that came from Mycoplasmosis - a myco flare up occured due to old age, stress because of his new cage mate, and he decided to sleep close to his pee that week for some reason?
Anyway the vet prescribed me Baytril. I didnt particularly care for this vet. I asked him for a med to put in the nebulizer since he might have trouble taking it by mouth since Baytril is really nasty. He said he didn't know what he could give me for that and to nebulize the Baytril if I want...which is not safe it needs to be diluted and all kinds of stuff and injecting can cause skin burns...

He refused to eat and take his medicine I had to force him to take it. Which made him hate me and refuse to trust me with a syringe. So I called and made a vet appointment for Thursday with an exotic vet.

So Wednesday I tried to get him out to force him some water mixed with honey and gatorade, tried baby food and soy baby formula and he had a gasping attack from the pneumonia and had his mouth wide open so I set up the nebulizer, had a panic attack and cried hysterically and held him up to steamed water from the bath tub. He survived this one.

Called a few vets and was going to take him to the vet despite tons of snow to be PTS because I did not want him to experience another gasping attack. But I canceled because he drank a lot from his water bottle and ate some baby food for the first time. So I had hope he is going to be OK. God wants him to survive.

Later had to get him out to give him his antibiotics. Right when I took him out to the kitchen and he saw the syringe he freaked out and kept trying to jump and get away, kept trying to give him his meds and he refused and started gasping again, I thought I was making him choke on his medicine so I stopped and petted him and he passed away right there in my hands. Hysterically cried and apologized in my head 19858738 times.

This little guy and I had such a great bond. He was such a sweetheart and he LOVED to play he had loads of energy and would run to the cage door when I walked by, and when I gave him treats he would refuse to go back in his cage until I gave him 3 treats to stuff into his mouth and then he would retreat and go eat them. He came when he was called and was potty trained and was super smart. He was my little Monkey.

God I feel TERRIBLE. Like I should have just mixed it into his food. Taken him to the vet the second I saw symptoms, the day before I took him in. I should have injected it, put it in the nebulizer despite doubts and possible reactions to it. I should have skipped antibiotics for a day, done SOMETHING...rushed him to the emergency vet again like a smart person. I should have cleaned the cage MORE often than twice a week obviously it wasn't enough. I tried to research as much as I could, called 10 vets, but I should have tried HARDER. I feel like I killed him.

I made his cage mate a feast of scrambled eggs, olive oil, lettuce, corn, peas, and yogurt, feeling depressed the whole time. And he won't even come out of his box to eat it. Of course I have to get a cage mate for Mr. Lonely and I don't know how I feel about that.

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You utilized the knowledge you had at that time, there is NOTHING wrong with that. And I'm sure he doesn't blame you. He knows you were trying to help him out. He refused the medicine because he knew it was too late and just wanted your undivided attention for his passing.
You did all you could with the VERY limited tools that vet gave you. A rat with pneumonia rarely survives and sure won't get better on injectable baytril that's for sure. I don't think you could've saved your boy anyways.

They fight to breathe so even handling them is incredibly stressful for them since they think you are going to stop them breathing. With the nebulizing, and pneumonia it woud've honestly made things worse...he probably had a ton of fluid in his lungs and a neb wouldve added more.

He needed lasix, and a strong combo of antibiotics and a steroid to open up the lungs...but he got baytril...NOT your fault...YOU tried as hard as you could, but his body was too weak. I am sorry. :(
So sorry to hear this. :( I know the feeling of wanting to blame yourself for what happens to these little guys, but you did everything you could have done. Don't feel guilty for what happened, because you couldn't have prevented it, as hard as that is. You gave him a good life, and now he's free of pain in a better place. :hugg2:
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please do not feel guilty. He is in a better place, where you can meet him again one day.
I am so terribly sorry to hear of your loss. It looks as though you did everything you could have for him. And for that, I am sure he is grateful.
It sounds like you're a great rat owner and that you love your animals dearly.
Don't be so hard on yourself. He is in a better place now and I'm sure he had a more than amazing life with you. RIP Monkey. <3
Well, the others have already said it, but yes, don't be hard on yourself. I know that is hard to do and ALL of us have gone through this with our babies...thinking we did not do enough, or made mistakes, blaming ourselves. You were desperate to help him and you did everything you could do with what you had. It is very obvious you loved your little boy so much and you were trying to hard to save him. He sounds like a beautiful boy and I know you are at least relieved that he is not in pain anymore. I know we all wish that our babies could pass away in a very peaceful way with no shots, no meds, no vet trips, but when we are trying to save them..well, it gets hard with all the stuff they have to go through with medicines and all. Same thing happened with our boys. Very painful and I know you are hurting very badly right now. We are here for you and I would love to see some photos of Monkey so you can share his memory with us, when you are ready. What part of Washington are you in? My local exotic vet was excellent...we used them for our rat boys and our gerbils as well, and they really know their stuff. They are in Kirkland WA. The Eastside Avian and Exotic Medical Center. Dr. Kamaka and Dr. Delaney, both women, are outstanding and compassionate small animal vets and they know their ratties. I am soooo sorry about Monkey. He sounded just darling. I know how much you miss him. :(
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