Had our first meeting

208 Views 4 Replies 3 Participants Last post by VictoriaB, Jun 15, 2011

VictoriaB

Discussion Starter · Jun 10, 2011

So finally after figuring out the actual best day to do it. Today we had our first meeting with a lady from the foster agency. It went pretty well except a couple issue's that we have to fix but don't need to do it yet. It mostly had to do with our backyard and that there is a bit of a drop so we hope our condo board will agree so that we can fix it. They didn't have so much of an issue that we don't drive since my hubby is going for his license this or next year. The only issue i have is that it seemed like she was saying because we have "disabilites" i had ADD when i was younger but apparently i grew out of it and my husband is dyslexic though he's been working on it everyday and is getting so much better with it. My husband works but not as much as they average person and it's not because of him but because of the dude he works for and yes he has tried getting another job but what he's qualified for would take him out of the city for numerous days and working 12-16 hours a day and that's not what we need specially if we are bringing a foster child into our family and i have seen what its done to my sisters relationship with her boyfriend. If we do foster i want to be able to stay with the child for atleat a couple months so i can get to know them. In a way to me she was kinda hinting that because we are technically disabled and on aish that it may be more of an issue which i really don't see how it can be as we are very able bodied to do things for ourselves and don't always rely on other people to help us. Though we are also looking into other foster or adoption agencies and we also thankfully we have a referral from my doctor for an infertility clinic since i now know what my diagnosis is on why i can't get pregnant which is pcos(polycystic ovary syndrome)

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Purple-Hops

· #2 · Jun 10, 2011

Wow, congrats and I hope everything works out for you!

My problem with the system is that the tend to judge too hard on who gets the kids.. They have no problem taking them from bad situations, cry out for lack of fosters and wonder why!! Their standards are much too high for today's society. Sure any idiot can have a child but it takes a super person to adopt?? That makes no sense to me.. How about trying to help educate people on safe sex, (excuse me) abortion, and birth control?? It seems the system is too discriminatory on the wrong things.

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VictoriaB

Discussion Starter · #3 · Jun 10, 2011

Thanks we do too. I thought it was pretty weird with some of the questions they asked like to see our furnice and what the square footage of our condo was and if they could see my parents house insurance(which was really odd to me) She was pretty snotty specially with the whole oh we are on aish thing which really ticked me off and i told my mom today that we are going to do everything they tell us to do and we'll show them that we are just as good as any able bodied person and possibly better as we would understand what these kids are going through. I feel sickened with how the world treats people with any sort of disability. It's absolutely discusting.

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VanillaRat

· #4 · Jun 10, 2011

I am so sorry you are being judged for disabilities.

A good friend of mine in Ontario actually had similar issues. Except she was trying to adopt,not foster. She couldn't have children due to some health issues and was on disability. Her husband worked two jobs and they are really nice people and were even fostering her sister's children (a whole other story). Anyway she applied for adoption and was turned down because she was on disabilities,yet she was/is a loving person (and actually has a little baby now,with the help of fertility drugs) and her children (her daughter and her neices/nephews she is looking after) are in a wonderful home. They are all doing well. But my friend was gutted that no adoption agencies would adopt out to her and her husband because she had a few health problems and was on disability!

I can understand the system being very strict in some areas,after all you don't want the kids going to the wrong home (even though I know/heard LOTS of stories of fosters/orphanages abusing kids anyway)...but I feel they turn down a lot of wonderful potential families for the smallest things and that is not necessarily fair to the parents or the child in question.

Anyways hopefully something good comes out of it. Good luck.

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VictoriaB

Discussion Starter · #5 · Jun 15, 2011

That's great that everything for your friend turned out. We are also waiting on a call from a infertility clinic so hopefully they are able to help us out with something since my doctor has a sneaking suspicion that i do have PCOS which i just joined another forum for as it's nice to be able to talk to other people with my same problems. The lady ended up calling the day after saying that you can only be on aish if you have a severe disability which is a load of crock as alot of our friends have disabilities like us and worse at times and they are also on aish and that because they mostly have children with severe disabilities she doesn't think we would be able to handle it which i just wanted to scream at her and i told my mom i wish i could have slapped her. At that time i pretty much broke down and said i don't want to continue with them if that is how she is going to treat us and not even give us a chance at all. So our search continue's to see if there are any foster or even adoption agencies that won't be so rude and close minded about how small of a disability we have.

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