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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How hard it is to lose something you love so much. Something you raised and fought for...

Liberty is through with the fight. We both fought and when she decided it was time to go, I helped her.

I put Liberty to sleep tonight. She seemed like she was getting better, and then everything fell apart today. She seemed more lethargic and wasn't interested in food anymore. At 8 I went in and she was on her side and flopped from one side to the other. She was stretching and couldn't stand. I took her out and immediately tried to give her some syrup. She wouldnt take it at all. She just layed in my arms, lifeless and stiff, but still breathing and occassionally looking at me and tearing my heart into pieces.

I took her to the emergency vet and he said it didnt look good at all. Her lack of response to things showed that her system was shutting down. Her twitching and stretching were signs of pain. He said he could inject some medication straight thru her veins to give her blood sugar a boost in case she was at a loss of energy, but he said even with that, she may only have a few hours.

I opted to stop the pain.... I put my sweet Liberty to sleep. They werent gonna let me be there bc they said sometimes in exotics they fight it and twitch more instead of just going right to sleep. I said that she was my animal and I wanted to be there with her. They said okay.... they tried in two bigger veins in the back legs.. they were still very small though. They had already stopped pumping so he said they would have to do it straight thru the heart. My own heart sank as I agreed. He gave her one dose, her heart stopped, and then started again. After the first minute or so he said she was unconscience. He had to give her another dose. She cried a few times and then left. She didnt fight it at all.

omg how I try not to question that I did the right thing. How I try to tell myself that I did all I could; that I fought as hard as I could. I tell myself it only makes me stronger.... but it is so hard to believe sometimes. I need strength and a sense of calm. I pray for it.

For now, Fuzzhead will be placed with Bryson as a sense of company. I dont know how long it will be... but until I can find strength to find and afford another mate for him, this is all I can do.

I will have a necro done in the morning.

Thank you all for your wishes and prayers.... but I guess God did what he felt was right.

RIP:
Liberty-Starr (9/11/02 - 12/7/03)
 

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Sorry to hear about your loss.

Patti
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
My vet just called. First he had to give his best wishes and condolences. He said when he recieved the fax from the emergency vet report, he couldn't believe it. He said that he wants to know exactly what happened so he is sending her body to Bryan College Station to have a full and in depth necro done. He said he is just stunned. We should have results by the end of the week.

I thank you all for the comfort. Im still in pretty bad shape, but Im trying. I tried to put Fuzzhead with Bryson and it was a disaster. Bryson didnt hurt him at all but Fuzz was so afraid.... he backed into a corner and was on his hind legs shaking and anytime Bry got close to him he would bark this deep raspy type of bark and snap at Bry. My heart fell for poor Bryson bc he wanted to groom and cuddle with him. I took Fuzzhead out bc I was afraid he would spazz out. I held him and he just shook with fear. I put him back in his cage and he ran right to Galaxy. I dont know what that was all about. Im gonna try again slowly throughout the week, but it looks as if I may have to try to find a new mate for Bryson sooner than I had hoped.

Luckily my teachers are allowing me to take my finals tomorrow as I was in no condition to take them today. Sooo I am back to trying to concentrate on stuff. Again thank you for your support... it means a lot to me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
UPDATE

Just talked to the vet.

My vet called the vet that did the necro at A&M for a good 20 minutes today.

Liberty suffered from a ruptured diaphram. The ruptured diaphram then caused a part of her liver to move into her chest cavity. They said generally they see this in cats and dogs when they have been hit by a car as it is an extreme blow. He said sense she suffered no injury, it had to have been caused during the delivery. She didnt show any of the normal symptoms such as showing pain when being examined and or a difficult time in breathing, which he listened to her lungs several times and said she sounded great.

So I guess it was just a fluke of nature. Said I can go in and pick up a copy of the report to keep in my own records, but only to come when I am strong enough to see it in writing. Said hearing it is hard enough but picking up the paper works and seeing it brings up hard feelings.

I got a card in the mail from them too. The whole staff signed it and the ones who specifically worked with her wrote messages. Made me cry all over again.

At least I am at peace knowing I did end her suffering and things couldnt have been fixed at the time of noticing what was going on. We did what we could to keep her here, but let her go when it was best to do so.

Thank you all for your warmth and compassion at my time of loss. It means a lot to me.

"Liberty-Starr I will miss you forever, but your spirit lives strong"
 
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